Crystal Clear
by Chicago Firestarter
Summary: Kelly Severide would do anything for his best friend, but he had to say no on this one. He knew he wasn't father material. Shay doesn't understand, but through the course of a couple months many things become crystal clear to the best friends. Severide/Shay relationship/falling in love. Chapter 10 and epilogue posted.
1. Chapter 1

Severide knew he had made Shay mad...again. He knew this because of that "I'm so disappointed in you" look that overtook Shay's entire face. He had seen it many times before. And, yes, usually it was his fault. He recognized that he could be an insensitive jerk at times, but always came clean with his best friend. He always did the right thing by her and always made things right. There was no way he would jeopardize possibly the best thing he had in his life right now- their friendship. He knew what he had with Shay and it was something he had never experienced. Yes, he had talked to Darden, confided in him, but most of their conversations ended with the playful ribbing of childhood friends. He could talk to Casey, sure, but bare his deepest darkest secrets, no way. Shay was there for him through everything - the good and the not so good. She was a rock when he broke his neck giving him what he needed, support and tough love. When he went to see a victim's widow to show her the video he took of the man's last words. No one had seen Kelly that night and the emotional toll it took on him. No one except Shay. She had wrapped her arms around him and held him on the couch for hours. Shay was always there for him. But now, what she was asking. He knew he had to disappoint her. But maybe this time he was right.

"Kelly, answer one question, do you think we'll be friends for the rest of our lives?" asked Shay.

"Of course! But..." said Kelly.

"Do you plan on being a big part of any child's life that I bring into this world?" interrupted Shay.

"You know I will be. You know I will love that child like..." began Kelly.

"Then why the hell won't you agree to be the father? I asked you because looking at these lists of sperm donors is making me crazy. I'm looking at hair color, height, education, aaahhh! It is making me truly crazy. Then the other night you walk in, you have my favorite ice cream, you ask me how the search is going and it hits me. You would be the perfect father to my child! You have a heart bigger than anyone else I know. You have so much love ready to give. It sounds crazy, but it's true. I saw you and how you were with Wesley. You and I will be great parents- together." Shay was out of breath with her plea. She looked at her best friend waiting for him to respond.

"Leslie, I love you. I do. You know this. I would do anything for you. Almost anything. I can't do this. I think you are on an emotional roller coaster still from the Clarice thing. I think you are not thinking this thing through all the way. I..." Kelly replied.

Interrupting again, Shay yelled, "So you don't think I should become a mother and you definitely want nothing to do with it! I guess you think I'm suffering from some breakdown from getting my heart ripped out twice by the same person! I am going to be a great mother!"

"Leslie," Kelly whispered, "I think you are going to be the best mother. It's just that I don't want to mess up what we have. I can't mess that up. I will be with you for all of it. I just can't help you with the making of it."

Shay felt her eyes welling up ready to overflow. She had to get out of there. Now. She couldn't believe her best friend had said no. It wasn't an I'll think about it. It was a definite no.

"Shay, wait. I'm not done," pleaded Kelly.

"I'm done," said Shay quietly as she ran out the door.

Kelly sat stunned, motionless, numb. The whole conversation had been a shock. First, blindsided by the request, then Shay's reaction to his answer. He knew he couldn't become a father to her baby. Uncle, yes. Father, no. He would be a terrible father...look at who his role model was, Bennie. Yes, they had reconnected but it hadn't changed the fact that Bennie had walked out on Kelly and his mom so many years ago. An eight year old needs his dad. What if I'm exactly the same thought Kelly? I am the same he thought. Look at what happens in every relationship I have. Either I end up hating the woman or she ends up hating me. This wasn't what Kelly wanted for Shay. He needed her in his life. But had he just lost her?

At the station, Kelly tried to talk to Shay but there were too many people around. Finally, she was alone in the kitchen.

"Hey, I don't like where we left it. Can we talk?" asked Kelly.

"Don't worry about it, Kelly. No responsibilities coming your way. Dawson and I were looking at sperm donors and I think I finally found one that is perfect. He has a PhD in some bioengineering something, so really smart. He's good looking too. Don't find that combination too often, so your services are no longer needed," said Shay turning around, walking out, leaving Kelly feeling like someone had just sucker punched him.

Dawson saw the look in Shay's eyes as she stormed out of the kitchen and knew her friend was not happy.

"Hey, Leslie, what's wrong. What's our favorite roommate done this time? Do you need to stay with me tonight?" asked Dawson jokingly.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," started Shay, tears forming and quickly pouring down her pale cheeks. "I just hurt my best friend, on purpose."

Shay told Dawson about the morning with Kelly, about her plan to have him be the father of her child, about his refusal, and about her insult to him about two minutes ago.

"Hmmm..." said Dawson quietly.

Shay's eyes grew wider. "That's all you got for me? Really?" Leslie expected her friend to respond with the usual fire that Dawson could be counted on. Quick to judge and quick to have your back, Dawson was never one to be at a loss for words.

"Well," began Dawson, "I can kind of get where Severide is coming from. Hey, get that look off your face! I know it's not what you want to hear, but I can see his point. Think about it Leslie...if you were to have sex and have a baby, it would change everything."

"We didn't even talk about the sex! We didn't get that far. He didn't even give it time..."

"Shay. Think about it- having sex with your best friend, the complications, the new feelings, it changes the whole relationship. That doesn't even mention the complications of raising a child. I think Severide has a point. You and Clarice did just end for good. This doesn't even mention the fact that he just had major surgery, ended things with Renee Royce, then reconnected with the first Renee. Your accident. That's a lot to deal..."

Dawson's words were cut off by the sound of the alarm.


	2. Chapter 2

As Kelly sat in the passenger seat of the squad truck, his mind was still focused on Shay. What gave her the right to be so angry? They had promised each other to always be honest, but now that no longer applied? He thought back to when they first started rooming together. They had agreed they wouldn't get into each other's business. Ha! That had lasted a week. They became fast friends and realized they were...well, compatible. That agreement was quickly forgotten. Apparently, the honesty thing was out the window too.

Distraction could be deadly, so Kelly switched into squad lieutenant mode as soon as the small diner came into view. He scanned the scene quickly - fire strong in the back, crowd of people out front, looked like no injuries, should be routine...if any call could be called routine.

Chief Boden started barking orders before Kelly's feet hit the ground. "Severide, squad go in from the back and get those flames under control! Casey, your team go in through the front and contain the spread. Make sure no one is in there. The owner said everyone is out but just make sure."

"Sure thing, Chief," said Casey and Kelly almost in unison. They quickly chuckled before taking off in opposite directions.

Squad got the fire under control in the back and worked their way toward the front before meeting up with Casey and Mills.

"Everything clear?" both lieutenants asked each other at the same time. "We need to learn a new routine," laughed Kelly. "Nothing much left in back..." he continued, then interrupted his own thought when he saw something to the left of him. Call it instinct, call it intuition, or just being good at his job, but Kelly ran full force, straight at Mills. He tackled him hard, taking the brunt of the impact on his side, his left hip smashing to the floor as he rolled the candidate over him protecting Mills from any injury. Just as they landed, a ceiling beam came crashing down missing them by a couple of feet coming to rest where Mills had been a few seconds earlier.

"Severide! Mills! You okay?" yelled Casey as he ran towards the two still on the ground.

"Ahhhh!" called out Kelly. "I landed on my side and hip, but nothing feels broken. I think it'll be a nasty bruise and sore as hell tomorrow," he continued as he slowly got up.

"Lieutenant, you saved my life. I, I don't have a scratch on me. Are you sure you're okay?" stammered Mills with a little hero-worship in his eyes.

"Yes, I said I'm fine! Now let's get out of here before this dump starts caving in on us," said Kelly limping towards Casey.

Casey grabbed his friend's arm and draped it around his own shoulder to help him out of the diner. As the two lieutenants made their way out the entrance, Shay and Dawson were making their way out of the parking lot, their services hadn't been needed on this one. Shay hadn't seen Kelly join his squad at the truck; she wondered where he was knowing she had to talk to him as soon as they got home. She hoped he hadn't taken her words to heart and that they hadn't cut too deeply. She did love him, but with that love came the knowledge of just what to say to really get under his skin and hurt him. She had been a bitch earlier and was ready to make amends. She just couldn't get it out of her mind - he WOULD be the perfect father. Ugghh, Shay, stop, she told herself. She spied one more look back and caught a glimpse of her roommate badly limping out of the building much of his weight on Casey.

"Stop!" she yelled at Dawson. "Something's wrong with Severide. Go back." Shay barely waited for the ambulance to stop rolling when she flew out the door and began running towards Kelly.

"What happened? Where are you hurt? Sit down! Dawson, are you coming?!" yelled Shay frantically.

Dawson was already at her friend's side. "I thought we might need this," she said with a smile pointing at the medical kit she brought with her.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," said Shay not breaking the laser stare she had focused on Kelly. She quickly took off Kelly's jacket, unhooked his suspenders, and was working on his shirt when he said, "Whoa! Back off! I'm fine. I fell and I will have a slight bruise tomorrow. That's it ladies. I don't need CPR, I don't need to be shocked back to life, you don't need to cancel dinner plans with the candidate, or some biochemist you have a date with. I'm fine!" announced Kelly as he slowly got up trying to hide a grimace of pain. He headed toward the squad truck and barely caught the quiet words of Shay, "Bioengineer, not biochemist. I guess we'll talk at home."

"Is he really okay?" Shay asked Casey, her eyes betraying her as they filled with tears.

Mills jumped in before Casey could respond, "He saved my life! A huge beam was falling and he used his Spidey sense or something...he pushed me out of the way. Man, that was a close one!"

"Lieutenant Casey, is Lieutenant Severide alright?" asked Chief Boden walking toward the group after taking in the entire scene.

"He took a hard fall and his whole side and hip are going to be sore for a few days, but yes, I think he's fine," answered Casey.

"Okay, Lieutenant. Just making sure because this is our friend who didn't use ANY sense when he continued to work for weeks with a broken neck!" boomed Boden staring straight at Mills. "Shay, he is off the next three days. Make sure he is okay to return or give me a call if he needs a few extra days of recovery. I would ask him directly if I thought there was any chance in hell of getting an honest answer," continued Boden looking at Shay and softening his tone a bit.

"Yes, sir."

Shay and Dawson climbed back into their ambulance without a word. Dawson broke the silence, "We'll, I'd say he's mad, upset, and hurt. I would not want to be you tonight."

Shay couldn't agree more.

Back at the station, Kelly made it impossible for Shay to talk to him. He took a shower that must have lasted an hour then Boden sent him home early to rest up. Finally, Shay's shift ended and she headed home to face her roommate. She bit her lower lip so hard it drew blood as she walked up the stairs to Kelly's room. God, I feel like a sixteen-year-old boy asking a girl to the prom she thought. You're a grown woman, calm down. He'll forgive you. You've forgiven him for far worse. Well, not really worse, just different. Shay quietly knocked on Kelly's door. No response. Maybe he was already asleep. No way. If his hip was as sore as she imagined, no way. She slowly turned the knob of his door.

"What the hell, Leslie! What happened to boundaries?" said Kelly when he saw the blonde come through his door. He had a small, end table light on, trying to sleep had been pointless. The throbbing in his hip had been relentless.

"I'm sorry, Kel. I, I wanted to make sure you are alright. Actually Chief Boden wanted to make sure you are alright," said Shay quietly forcing tears to stay at bay.

"Well, you've done your duty. You can report back to Boden that I'm fine- just great. Good night," replied Kelly abruptly.

"No, that came out all wrong, just like everything else I've said to you today! I'm sorry for everything," cried Shay, the tears holding back no longer. "I don't want to force you to have a baby with me and, and, I d-don't want to have a baby with some stranger, and I don't want to hurt you, a-and I," sobbed Shay uncontrollably.

"Come here," Kelly cut her off holding out his arm reaching toward his best friend. Shay went to him burying her head in his shoulder as she knelt beside him, knees on the floor, upper body on his. She was sobbing now and Kelly was broken, all anger gone. His only concern was holding his friend. "Shhh, shhh, I'm not mad. It's okay."

Shay finally gained control. "I'm sorry. You know I don't get like that. I think that it's all the stuff over the past month. And then seeing you hurt today brought back the fear of losing you. I'm a mess. God, Kelly, I'm sorry."

"If you say you're sorry again, I'm kicking you out of my room. And you are MY mess so it's okay," Kelly said with his familiar devilish grin.

As Shay stood up she moved the bed slightly causing Kelly's grin to fade into a look of anguish. "Ahhh," he called out turning inward as if someone had punched him.

Shay pulled back the covers before he could make the first protest. She pulled his T-shirt up a little and his sweat pants down a tad revealing a severe bruise starting on his side, chest level going all the way down to his upper thigh. The color was just this side of black, a shade of deep purple not meant for the human body. She pressed all around the offending color causing Kelly to go lockjaw in an effort not to call out.

"Jesus, Shay," he moaned.

"I want to make sure you don't need to go to the hospital," answered Shay her brows furrowed with concern.

"And?" asked Kelly.

"It is a deep contusion, one of the worst I've seen, but you don't have to go. There's nothing they'll do for you there that I can't do here. Starting with ice. You should have iced that thing for twenty minutes the second you got home," ordered Shay as she ran down the stairs to the freezer. She quickly grabbed two large ice packs, three ibuprofen, a glass of water and went as fast as she could to Kelly's room.

Shay handed Kelly the medicine and water first. He took it without a word. She then gently laid the ice packs along Kelly's side and hip hating the look of pain in his eyes. She finally crawled into bed next to her friend and he was still silent. She could help him in the middle of the night if she stayed here changing out his ice, getting more ibuprofen she told herself. Was he asleep? Why wasn't he saying anything?

Finally, Kelly spoke,"If this is your idea of making me your baby daddy, you are in for a big disappointment. I am going to barely be able to make it to the bathroom let alone make it with some hot blonde in my bed."

Both friends erupted in laughter, all the ugliness of the day forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

Kelly had slept maybe a total of an hour, two tops that night. Maybe it was the constant pain in his hip and side or maybe it was Shay snuggled up close, leg draping over his, hands reaching to his chest and other places. Her snoring didn't help either. Oh he couldn't wait till he felt better to give her hell about that one. Maybe it wouldn't wait until he felt better. Yeah, so much for being at his beck and call all night with ice packs and pain relief. He'd made the long trek down the stairs twice before he finally decided to stay on the couch...closer to the freezer. She hadn't woken up once. About 8:30 she finally came down the stairs, hair a mess, still in her T-shirt and shorts she came to bed in.

"God, Kel, I'm so sorry. I didn't get up once. I must have been wiped I'm so sorry. Could you sleep at all?" asked Shay plopping down next to him.

"Yes, slept great except for someone's snoring right next to me. I thought Casey moved in or something," said Kelly with that devilish look on his face.

"I do not snore!" protested Shay while she lifted up his shirt to look at his side.

"Jesus Shay! It hasn't changed in one night. It's fine, you said so yourself. I have three days off and I'll be all good by then." said Kelly pulling down his shirt.

"I did not say it's fine. I said I would take care of you and you didn't need to go to the hospital. As a matter of fact, Boden gave me the same shift, so I'll be off those days too," Shay replied with a smug smile on her face.

"God help me. I could be dead by the end of the three days," laughed Kelly holding his side and hip. The joke was worth the pain.

"That is totally not fair," pouted Shay. "I will do better tonight. I promise. You know I was a wreck with all the baby talk, your total rejection."

"Okay, now who's not being fair? Come here," said Kelly wrapping an arm around his friend. "Seriously though, I think it is smart you're holding off on having a baby for a while. You will be the best mother one day. I am sure of that."

"Yeah, yeah. Let me get you a fresh ice pack. And have I got a surprise for you. A whole movie marathon of zombie apocalypse for your viewing pleasure," said Shay as she fanned out five DVDs in her hands. "The best part...a pirated copy of World War Z! It's not even out yet!"

"No way! How? Who? Wait, I don't even want to know. You know me so well," said Kelly kissing the top of Shay's head. Shay looked up and the kiss sort of landed awkwardly on her nose. The friends laughed nervously with Shay putting both hands on Kelly's face and kissing his forehead. She kept her hands softly on his face looking directly into his eyes now. What a unbelievable blue...she had seen them crinkle almost closed with happiness and fill with tears of emotional pain. And those lips, those full lips. She wanted to kiss those lips, she REALLY wanted to feel those lips on hers. What was going on? She knew he was physically beautiful, God everyone knew that. You only had to go to the bar after shift with him one time to see that. Every woman in the place ended up staring at him. The braver ones approached, married or not. He usually shot them down with a kind smile and some excuse of celebrating something special that night with his friend. They had been roommates for how long and nothing remotely sexual had ever happened. Ever. Now she was doing this. She really was. She pulled his face in slightly, slowly, while moving hers in just as slow. Their lips barely touched, Kelly tried to pull away but Shay would not let him. She pulled his mouth firmer to hers, this time kissing him with full force, months of attraction unleashing with one movement. Kelly became a willing participant and found his hands in her hair caressing her neck, moving down her back. The kissing was getting more intense, deeper, Shay's hands ventured to down the side of his neck moving quickly now down his back. God, the curve of his back was unreal, his entire body was unbelievable. She had seen enough of it. He walked around half naked most of the time thinking it had no effect on her. She knew she had been no better, most times braless, a t-shirt, and panties. Her hands quickly lifted his shirt over his head and before he could do the same to her she slipped out of her t-shirt. They were staring at each other neither one moving. Shay slipped off her shorts and carefully got on top of Kelly.

Stop, stop, stop kept going through Kelly's mind but his body was not obeying. He had loved Shay for a long time and of course he had been attracted to her. She was beautiful, those big blue eyes that betrayed exactly what she was feeling. Some people wore their hearts on their sleeves, Shay's heart was in her eyes. He loved that about her. Well, it was just one thing he loved about her. Right now her body was coming in a close second. He had seen it before without being too obvious, but God she did walk around the apartment half naked. He knew his shirtless frame did nothing for her, but he was a man and couldn't help being attracted to her. The night of the Firemen's Banquet he thought he was going to lose it...her in that dress, hair and makeup. She cleaned up well. Mmmm, she was perfection. He was finally seeing, feeling every inch that he had previously imagined.

They were fully intertwined in each others limbs instinctively knowing what the other wanted before a hand had to be led or a word spoken. Completely overtaken, the no's in Kelly's mind dissipated into one clear YES. Shay rolled off of Kelly when they both had been more than satisfied. Breathless and panting the friends stared at each other knowing they had moved from friends to something much more.

Kelly was the first to break the silence, "Shay, please tell me I didn't just screw everything up, that I didn't ruin everything we have. Tell me I didn't force you to do something you didn't want to..."

Shay burst out in a hysterical laugh, "Kelly! You are serious? I practically took advantage of you! You can be so dense...and THAT is why I haven't been with a man for two years." Shay continued laughing unable to get herself under control.

Kelly couldn't help but feel he was at the losing end of a joke. "I just always screw things up so to speak when I end up in the sack. Wait a minute...you were with a guy before? What the..."

"First off, I jumped you. And yes I was with a guy. I've been with several guys. I made a conscious decision about two years ago to be exclusive, to pick a side so to speak. I picked lesbian. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship with a real tool and decided to only date women. I spent most of my life bisexual, dating men and women. Why are you looking at me like that?" Shay asked while absentmindedly stroking Kelly's hair.

"You don't think that little detail was necessary information? I cannot believe this. I feel lied to or betrayed or something," said Kelly noticing the pain in his hip for the first time in over an hour.

"Hey, calm down. There is NO way we would have become best friends or even stayed roommates if you had known. Admit it. You would have spent every waking moment trying to get me in bed. Admit it!" Shay replied a smile spreading across her face.

"Yes, alright, I admit it and it would have been worth it. Leslie Shay, you are unbelievable. Now just tell me everything with us is going to be great and nothing will change." pleaded Kelly feeling like they had just reached the edge of a cliff and were about to jump.

"Everything will be great. I promise. But everything has changed," answered Shay getting up to get an ice pack. "I have a feeling you are really going to need this," laughed Shay as she opened the freezer.

They watched World War Z, well sort of watched the movie. They laid together on the couch legs draping over one another kissing, exploring their new territory, enjoying every inch of each other. They had the familiarity of an old, married couple so the awkwardness of new sex didn't come into play... only the excitement. Near the end of the movie, Kelly couldn't hold back any longer. He picked up Shay and carried her up to her room. He gently placed her on the bed and softly stroked her face, kissing each place he touched. She tried to reciprocate, but he said no, don't move. This was all for her. He wanted to do everything for her and he did. When he finished, she was completely spent, eyes closed, not moving, and silent for once. She had a huge smile on her face. She opened her eyes and felt her energy quickly returning when she saw the grin on Kelly's face. He looked like a little boy who had just secretly eaten the last cookie. She flipped over and pushed him onto his back.

He stroked her hair out of her eyes, but she said, "No. You don't move or talk...my turn."

They slept in Shay's bed that night and Kelly actually slept a little more. Shay kept her word and got up a couple of times to retrieve fresh ice packs and ibuprofen. She looked so out of it and sleep drunk those first few times that Kelly chose not to wake her after that. Reminds me of when Wesley was here and she wouldn't hear him at night, Kelly chuckled to himself. He hadn't minded though. The baby had been a welcome distraction to all their drama of the past few months.

"Hey gorgeous," said Kelly as Shay opened her eyes.

"Hey gorgeous," answered Shay. "Oh my God! Did I even get up once to help you last night?"

"Yes, you did. Thank you. Actually, thank you for everything that you did for me," said Kelly with that wide grin on his face. It was a smile Shay loved...it said so many things to her. It said much more than I'm happy. It was an unapologetic grin that showed his playful, carefree side. It showed a true joy. She had seen it many times in the past but not as frequently the past two months. She saw it now and it made her laugh.

"What is that for, knucklehead?" asked Kelly keeping that grin intact.

"Nothing. Okay, I'm lying. It is something. I love you Kelly Severide. No, wait, I am IN love with you Kelly Severide," shouted Shay way too loud for this early in the morning.

"I am in love with you Leslie Shay. I think I have always been in love with you Leslie," said Kelly much softer before planting a kiss on her forehead.

Dawson, Chief Boden and Casey had all left numerous texts on Shay's phone. "Crap, everyone has been texting me. I'm sure to check on you."

"Ignore them," said Kelly. "We've been busy," he said with a laugh.

"Ignore Chief, really? No way, I'm calling him back right after I talk to Dawson," said Shay while dialing her friend's number. "Hey, sorry. We've been busy. Yes, he's resting and doing much better. Tonight? Well, I don't know if he feels up to it. Yes, I could go by myself. Uh, it's Boden on the other line. I'll text you later and let you know. No, everything is fine. I'm sure and no, I'm not acting weird." Shay hung up the phone and Kelly broke up laughing.

"Resting? Hahaha! You are such a bad liar! But seriously, you go tonight. It's Otis' birthday and I know you are getting stir crazy. My hip can't take any more excitement. I really gotta rest it tonight if I'm going back day after tomorrow," said Kelly.

"First off, how did you know it's Otis' birthday and secondly, I want to stay with you," said Shay leaning in for a kiss.

"Like I just said, you are a terrible liar. Go have fun, talk to your friend, tell her any of it, all of it, I don't care. I want to shout it from the fire truck, so I don't care who knows. Oh, and Otis' birthday popped up on my calendar. Now, what are we going to do all day before you leave tonight?" asked Kelly sheepishly.

"Hmmm..." replied Shay before roughly grabbing her fireman and bringing him in for a kiss.

Later that night...

"Now go, get dressed, leave, have fun, buy Otis a drink from me, and I'll see you later," commanded Kelly.

Shay was out the door in fifteen minutes. She didn't know what she was going to say to Dawson but she kind of felt like Kelly did and wanted to shout it from the top of the bar. Seeing her friend's face answered her question.

"Hey, girl," said Dawson from down at the far end of the bar. "We're missing you these past couple of days. How is he really?"

"He's perfect," said Shay before she quickly told her friend the details of the past two days.

"Who is the skank now?" laughed Dawson. "But seriously, are you sure about this? I mean you kind of like the ladies and not the guys so much."

Shay told her friend the truth about her sexuality and how the last guy she dated had led her in the exclusively female direction,

"I knew you were checking out Severide's ass in the shower area! I called you on it and you totally lied! I knew it!" laughed Gabby so hard the other bar patrons turned to see what was happening. "And how did that girls only thing work out for you. You really are so good at picking out the winners," continued Dawson wiping tears from her eyes.  
"Clarice!" they both shouted at the same time laughing like they hadn't laughed in months. "Seriously, Shay, I am happy for you. I've seen that side to Severide that I thought only existed in your mind. I've seen how he adores you, how caring he is. He IS a great guy. I just wish he'd let more people in," said Dawson only to be interrupted by a  
Neanderthal who decided this would be the opportune time to hit on the blonde sitting by Dawson.

"Hey beautiful," slurred the large, burly, obviously drunk man.

From across the bar Kelly had made his way in. He was going to surprise his girl and making an appearance would do wonders in getting the chief to let him return to work soon. He had hugged Otis, reassured the chief he was good as gold, all the while watching Shay laughing with her friend. He had seen the offending loser before the ladies had. His happiness at seeing his girl laugh so hard disappeared in an instant. He moved as quickly as he could which was really kind of slow. Damn hip he thought pushing the pain away. Shay needed him. Before he took another two steps, Mr Drunk Guy looked like he had just been punched in the stomach. The caveman looked down at his crotch area and slipped back to his corner of the bar without another word. Kelly smiled broadly. He had forgotten for a second just what his girl was made of. He had experienced the wrath of Leslie Shay a few days earlier.

"Glad to see you ladies have things under control," laughed Kelly as he grabbed the stool next to Dawson. Shay came over and planted a kiss directly on Kelly's lips. It did not go unnoticed. Casey and the chief looked at each other not really sure what they had just seen.

"Congratulations my friends," said Dawson loudly holding up her beer tapping Shay's first then Kelly's.

"I am really glad you are okay with this Gabby," said Kelly the worry in his face gone.

"Hell, yeah. You wormed your way into my heart a long time ago Severide," laughed Dawson her face brightening up as she saw Mills walking toward the friends.

Just one hour in and Kelly was done. The beers weren't really helping the pain and he grudgingly thought he was going to have to ask Boden for a couple more days off. Ugh, he hated being laid up. He lived for squad...and now for one more thing - that beautiful girl sitting next to Dawson.

"Let's get out of here," said Shay standing up heading for Kelly. She knew he was in pain but would gladly stay for hours more if she wanted. I love this man she thought as she gave him a kiss full on the mouth this time for all to see.

As the beautiful couple made their way to the front of the bar a loud voice could be heard from the corner where Neanderthal had landed. "I guess blondie likes 'em gimpy. Have a ni-nice night hop a long," slurred the man who was even drunker now and had set his sights on Shay.

"Ignore him," commanded Shay her steely blue eyes daring Kelly to disagree. They kept walking just a few steps from the front door.

"Hey, blonde! I'm a talkin' to you! Slut, do you hear me?" screamed the man again.

Oh, hell no thought Kelly. "I suggest you apologize right now!" yelled Severide losing control fast. That was the only thing fast about him on this night. He tried to book it to the man but again, he was just slow. Shay grabbed for Kelly's hand but he tore it free easily. She looked back at Dawson, communicating with her glance toward Kelly. Dawson nodded her head and said something to Mills but there was a lingering crowd of people blocking them from getting close to Kelly.

The drunk guy, sensing injured prey dove straight for Kelly's midsection. The pain was excruciating. Kelly lay on the floor for a couple of seconds trying to breathe. He caught his breath and began pummeling drunk guy's face. It wouldn't have been a fair fight if Kelly wasn't injured, but the drunk sensed weakness and started hitting Kelly in the side, hard. He was drunk but that didn't make his muscles any less large. "Ahhh!" Kelly called out unable to land any more punches. Shay was on the man before Severide could yell out one protest. She had one arm around the guy's neck in a serious WWF move while the other held something. Kelly couldn't really make it out until he saw the beer bottle smash into Neanderthal's head rendering him unconscious.

"Great," thought Severide as he still lay flat on his back near the entrance of the bar. "I have officially turned into the girl in this relationship." He closed his eyes and passed out like any respectable girl would do.


	4. Chapter 4

Warning - this chapter is a sad one, not the humor that's in the other chapters. It's my try at writing to an upcoming episode called A Coffin That Small (airing 3/27). It's what I wish would happen.

* * *

"Lieutenant, you okay? Hey, you alright?" asked Mills as he helped Kelly to a chair right by where he lay a minute earlier.

"Yeah, just great," muttered Kelly. "It isn't every day you get your ass kicked and have to have your five foot five, hundred and ten pound girl come to your rescue."

"You were hurt," protested Shay. "I didn't think about it. I just reacted. I'm sorry Kelly," Shay continued knowing Kelly's ego had been bruised as well as his body.

"Let's go home," said Kelly dejectedly. Casey and Boden came by to see if he was alright. Boden told Kelly to take a week off; this night just kept getting better and better.

Once at home, Kelly felt better. He iced his side and hip, took some pain medication, and forgot about his bruised ego. What did he have to be upset about? He had the girl of his dreams and he hadn't even been looking.

"Hey, Kel. You're not still mad at me are you?" asked Shay quietly as she laid in bed next to him.

"I wasn't mad Shay, just embarrassed. A guy is supposed to protect his girl. It's not really the other way around," replied Kelly as he rolled over to kiss the blonde. He knew he should just get some rest but when has he ever done what he was supposed to?

"I'm going to miss you at the station. I can't believe chief is making you take a whole week off," Shay said wide eyed.

"Yeah, it was my pathetic display that made him decide three days wouldn't be nearly long enough," laughed Kelly. "I'm surprised he didn't just fire my ass after seeing me try to defend your honor."

"He just saw how hurt you still are. You would have wiped the floor with that guy if you weren't injured. Hey, wait, I have an idea... I can use my vacation days and stay with you," said Shay with an excited look on her face.

"First off, I can't believe you just said 'wiped the floor' and secondly, you are not using vacation days for this! What if I want to take you on a real vacation in a few months? You are not using those days to babysit me," Kelly said getting up to take a quick shower. "I'll be fine on my own. It might actually give me the time to recover."

Shay waited as long as she could and then joined her man in the steaming water. Before they went to sleep that night, Shay thought Boden was on to something making Kelly stay home for a week. He definitely wasn't resting anything with her around. It had become impossible for her to stay away for more than a few minutes from this man who had been just a friend for so long. How strange that in the course of just a few days everything could change. Everything you were so certain of could be challenged. How things could change for the better when you didn't even realize you needed a "better."

As Shay walked into the station the next day, the theme from Rocky was booming loudly from the sound system. "Ha, ha, very funny guys!" shouted Shay over the music. Of course, Dawson was the first to greet her with a huge smile on her face.

"Let me just say that I had no idea you had been a wrestler in a previous life," laughed Dawson. "You turned all spider monkey on us, jumping on that guy's back. It was truly amazing," continued Dawson barely able to get out the words in between laughs. The others had joined them in the front applauding as Shay curtsied politely to her friends.

"Shay, in my office, now!" yelled Chief Boden, the music suddenly dying out.

Shay quickly entered Boden's office. "Shut the door," he commanded. "Now, I really DON'T care who or what you are dating. Your personal life is just that - personal. BUT when it affects my firehouse then I have a problem. Is your current situation going to affect this station in any way whatsoever?"

"No, sir," answered Shay looking straight at the chief.

"Good! That's what I want to hear. There will be no shenanigans in the equipment room or anything else that you think I don't know about. The first sign of your personal life affecting this house negatively and one of you will be out. I will transfer one of you so fast your head will spin. Do I make myself clear?" asked Boden.

"Yes, sir," replied Shay.

"Now, you and Severide are too valuable to this station to lose, so I'm glad to hear that you are going to keep it professional," said Boden softening his tone a little. "How is he doing anyways?"

"Better sir. Almost all healed," Shay said. "This week should be just what he needs."

"Glad to hear it. You're excused," finished Boden, point made.

Shay left his office feeling like she'd been reprimanded for something she hadn't even done.

The week went by so slowly Kelly thought he was going to go crazy or drive Shay crazy. They were both thrilled when the week was up and he was physically able to get back to work. His hip and side were still sore but it was nothing like it had been. He was at about 85% which was still better than most the guys on truck. He knew he was ready.

As Kelly walked into the station, his friends had a theme song for him also. Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" was playing loudly. All the members of squad and truck were singing along as they greeted Kelly, giving him a hug or handshake to welcome the lieutenant back.

"Do I have something wrong with me if I say I have missed this?" laughed  
Kelly as he gave Shay a quick one-armed hug, knowing the watchful eyes of chief were on them. He sat down to play a game of cards and felt so much calmer than he had the entire week of being home alone during the day at the apartment.

He hadn't been back for more than an hour when the alarm sounded calling for truck, squad and paramedics to an apartment fire. Getting back into a routine gave Kelly a comforting feeling and, yes, the excitement of a call felt like his routine. Kelly surveyed the apartment as it came into view. This was going to be a bad one he sensed as soon as the truck pulled up. People were screaming and trying to go back in...that could mean only one thing - others were trapped inside. As Kelly got out of the truck, he saw Shay and gave her a reassuring grin. There were several tenants injured, so the paramedics immediately got to work. There would be no more shared looks from the roommates. They were focused on their jobs with a laser like intensity...that is what Boden expected and that was what the two expected of themselves.

"Kelly, squad go all the way up to the fifth floor. Lady says her baby is still up there...newborn. Apartment 59 C, got it? 59 C. You are gonna have to move! This is a bad one. Casey, Mouch, Cruz, Mills, you contain this son of a bitch and leave an exit route for squad. We are all about saving lives...let's do it!" barked Boden as the men ran into the apartment.

Kelly and his team almost flew up to the fifth floor. Black smoke enveloped them getting thicker and thicker as they ascended. Once on the fifth, Kelly shouted at his team to begin checking the rooms for any other victims. He was heading straight for 59 C. The smoke was so thick he could barely see the apartment numbers on the doors. 59 A, 59 B, this next one had to be 59 C. He kicked down the door and began scanning the rooms, smoke stifling his breathing even with the mask on. No crib, no baby stuff anywhere, what the hell? He went back outside the door and saw it labeled 60 A. He looked across the hall and saw 59 C. Kelly cursed under his breath as he kicked down the door to 59 C. Once inside he found the baby's room immediately. The heat and smoke was turning his stomach. He knew it had been too long. It had taken too long. He reached in the crib and felt for something. He felt her right away...the limp body of a newborn. He told his crew he found her and ordered them to get out now. As Kelly ran down the steps, he felt no signs of life. He inhaled as deep a breath as he could then took off his mask and placed it on the baby's face.

"Never under ANY circumstances do you take off your mask. A dead fireman is helping no one. No matter how tempting it is to give a victim one quick breath, you never do it. Smoke inhalation occurs in seconds. Your fellow firefighters will be recovering two bodies instead of one." Kelly could hear the words of the instructor in one of his first classes to become a fireman. He remembered those words verbatim. Yet he felt compelled to give the little life he held in his arms the best chance possible.

He made it to the last steps and took a couple of small breaths. He could feel the burning in his lungs, hold your breath, a little bit longer, almost out. He was disoriented, chief was yelling at him to get out now, he thought he was heading to the front entrance, but it was so black, impossible to tell. Yes, it was the escape! As he stumbled through the doors he realized he had been taking full breaths now, for how long? He fell to the ground but somehow managed to cradle the tiny baby to feel none of his body weight. He wanted to cough, but nothing would come. He felt his chest rising and falling so rapidly, but it seemed no air would come. He saw Dawson take the baby from his arms, rip off his mask from the small face, and place her on the stretcher. Shay handed him an oxygen mask and said something. What was it? Her mouth was moving, but he heard nothing. He just nodded and tried to inhale from the mask. She rushed to help her partner. Casey was in his face now. He could hear his voice, but couldn't understand. Chief Boden was yelling at him, yelling something about breathing. He closed his eyes...so tired...need to rest.

Kelly came to in an ambulance, lying flat on his back, listening to unfamiliar voices. What were they saying? Who were these people? He expected to see Shay and Dawson, but it was two men who got in his face and spoke to him like he was three. "Hey, buddy. How ya doing? Stay with us okay? Just try to breathe normally." He felt his breaths rise and fall so quickly. He tried to concentrate on slowing it down but his body had other ideas. He grabbed for the mask. He had to ask about the baby. How was the baby? The same paramedic said to calm down and we would all check at the hospital. His condescending tone made Kelly want to scream, but that was definitely out of the question. He felt himself being rushed into some room and a woman's voice yelling out orders of a pulse oxi something, a bronchio something and a chest x-ray. That voice sounds familiar thought Kelly as he lost consciousness.

When he opened his eyes the next time, there was no mistaking the voice he heard - Leslie Shay's.

"Kel, oh my God! I thought you were dying. Dawson and I were so focused on the baby, and you nodded your head yes when I asked if you were alright. We had no idea you were in distress until Boden called for another ambulance. I love you. I am so sorr..." Shay's words tumbled out.

"The baby?" whispered Kelly.

Shay's tears were streaming down her face dropping on to Kelly's as she shook her head no. Kelly just closed his eyes and let weariness overtake him again.

The next time he opened his eyes he saw Casey's ex-fiancé Hailey looking at his chart. "Hailey," he said.

"Kelly, I'm glad you're awake. I'm sure you've figured out you have some pretty serious smoke inhalation. You sucked in quite a bit of nastiness. The good news is that your oxygen levels are rising. We didn't have to intubate with a breathing tube so your recovery will be quicker. I wish we were seeing each other under better circumstances," finished Hailey with a smile.

"How long will I have to be in here?" asked Kelly a little surprised he could speak a full sentence.

"A few days most likely. We'll continue with breathing treatments, oxygen, monitor your levels and all should be better in a few days," answered Hailey. "Shay was not happy with me when I kicked her out, so I'm going to get her now," said Hailey laughing.

"Thanks," said Kelly not really hearing any of what Hailey said. All his thoughts were on the baby who was dead. Gone. Never able to crawl, say Daddy for the first time, none of that.

"Hi Kel," said Shay softly as she entered the room. "Hailey said I could spend the night in a cot right here next to you. She has been great, she really went out on a limb..."

"When is the funeral?" interrupted Kelly thinking of that lifeless little baby. How he didn't save her. He hadn't been fast enough, good enough.

"It's tomorrow, but Hailey said she can't release you. I already asked because I knew you would raise holy hell about it. She explained all the complications that could come up and I think it's best you stay here," pleaded Shay.

"Okay," Kelly stated simply and closed his eyes.

The next morning Shay left early to shower and get dressed for the funeral - dress blues ordered by Chief Boden. Kelly kissed her goodbye. He had been silent all night and all morning. Shay was worried, but she knew she could get him to open up once they got home.

Once Shay took off, Kelly made a few calls, then started the paperwork to get himself released. There was no way in hell he was not going to be at that funeral. He couldn't do anything else for that baby girl, but he could be at her funeral. His neighbor dropped off his dress blues, the paperwork was almost finished to get out, and he had managed to take a quick shower without passing out. He felt like he was moving through molasses... everything in slow motion. The good news - he was moving.

"Kelly, I cannot agree to this!" began Hailey as she stormed into his room. "What the hell? You removed your own IV? I understand, well, I sort of understand, but you cannot leave right now. You are just getting back to normal oxygen levels."

"I am going whether you agree or not," stated Kelly flatly. "I promise I'll be back in three hours, tops. So are you going to fight me on this or help me with this tie?" asked Kelly.

Hailey knew she was not going to win. She had seen that look on Severide's face before and she knew it was a losing battle. Shay had told her about the baby and she knew Kelly felt he had to go.

Hailey worked on Kelly's tie, not saying a word. Finally, "TWO hours, tops. Okay? And Tell Casey I said hi, but don't say I asked about him," she added.

"You didn't ask about him, and you can say hi yourself. He's picking me up any minute," Kelly replied hoarsely.

As if on cue, Casey walked into Kelly's room spouting out words so quickly they sounded like one long sentence, no periods. "Shay is going to kill us both. I get it. I do probably more than anyone else... That's why I'm here," the last few words coming out slowly. Casey's eyes grew wider when the doctor turned around and it was his former fiancé Hailey.

"Hello Hailey. Um, how have you been?" asked the lieutenant awkwardly.

"Fine, Matt. And you."

"Great. Well, not really great. That was the wrong word. This situation is definitely not great. But me, personally, if that's what you're asking, then me, yes, I'm good." Matt babbled not really sure what he just said.

Silence.

"Let's go," croaked kelly breaking the silence. "Thanks for everything Hailey. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Yes, it's a date. Well, not a date. I mean I'll see you when you get back." Hailey smiled at them both and practically ran out of the room.

"That was awful," said Casey.

"Yeah, not your best moment," agreed Kelly.

Casey had only agreed to transport Kelly if he went to the burial only. Much to Casey's surprise, his friend had agreed readily. They pulled near the burial site and Kelly saw Shay first, then the parents of the baby girl. He got out of Casey's car and Shay began running toward him. To hell with Boden's demands. This was the man she loved. This was the man she wanted to share everything with. Yes, this was the man she wanted to have a baby with.

"They released you?" Shay questioned, eyes burning bright.

"Uh, yeah," began Kelly.

"Don't lie to me! Hailey already texted me that you have two hours that's it. And YOU," Shay said glaring at Casey, "We will talk later."

"Why do you always ask me a question that you already know the answer to?" asked Kelly his voice barely a whisper now. He began coughing violently and the anger in Shay's eyes turned to worry. If the others didn't know Kelly was coming they did now. Many eyes looked up the hill to where the trio was standing.

"It looks like its starting. Lets go," said Casey cutting both of them off.

They walked to the canopy where all of squad and truck stood somberly looking at the small coffin about to be lowered into the ground for eternity. Family members were crying quietly as the minister talked about baby Isabelle. That was her name, Isabelle. Kelly would have that name seared into his brain for the rest of his life. Isabelle.

Shay felt tears flowing down her face. The two paramedics had known the newborn was not going to make it the second they saw her face. They had diligently worked on her trying everything all the while knowing it was hopeless. Shay could only think of the baby she thought was going to be part of her family forever, Wesley. The baby she was going to watch growing up. That was not going to happen. Shaw and Dawson had to do everything they could to give this baby's parents the chance to watch their little girl grow up. They couldn't give up. It wasn't until they got her to the hospital and she had been pronounced dead did Shay accept that a newborn had died. It had left her with an empty space. She hadn't been given a second to mourn because that was when Boden's call came in about Kelly being transported to the ER. After the service, members of Station 52 went to the parents shaking hands or hugging with more tears being shed.

"Let's go up," said Shay.

"No, you go. I'll wait on that bench over there," Kelly said walking to the nearby bench.

"Come on, Kel. You need to," pleaded Shay.

"No! Just let me rest,"

Shay headed to the parents and quickly gave the mom a hug. No words needed, both women's eyes said enough. She walked back to the bench and Kelly barely looked up. They both watched the parents walk back to the grave, now devoid of people.

"I'll be right back," Kelly softly spoke and with one squeeze of Shay's hand he left. Shay watched as he headed down towards the parents.

"Mr., Mrs. Santiago, I just wanted to say I am so sorry about your little girl, about Isabelle. I was the lieutenant of squad, I brought her out..." Kelly said quietly, tears forming in his eyes threatening to betray the calm he portrayed on the outside.

The mom just hugged him for a good minute before speaking. "Lieutenant, your chief told us everything you did for our baby, violating procedure, doing everything you could. Thank you," she said sobs breaking from her throat.

Mr. Santiago came forward, tears coming from his face. "Lieutenant, thank you for bringing my girl out. For not letting my baby burn, for not letting the fire take her..." sobs escaped his throat. The men embraced for a few more seconds before Kelly felt a soft touch on his shoulder.

Shay guided him back to her car knowing he had to get back to the hospital.

"Shay, a coffin that small...it shouldn't exist. There shouldn't be a reason for it. A coffin that small...it's just not right," Kelly said fully breaking now. He let it all out, not crying like that since Andy had died, not crying like that since he had been an eight-year-old boy realizing his father was not coming back home.

When they reached the hospital, it was silent in the car. Kelly breathed in as heavy a breath as he could.

"Leslie Shay, I want us to have a baby. A baby made of you, of me. A baby we will love for the rest of our lives," said Kelly Severide to the woman he loved.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** Thanks for the reviews! My first fanfic so bear with me. Sorry about the misspelling of Hallie - hopefully, got it right now. Kelly and Matt bromance this chapter. Will get back to Kelly and Shay next chapter.

* * *

"Kelly, I don't want to see you back here anytime soon," said Hallie with a smile on her face.

"No worries. I don't plan on making a return visit," said Kelly looking at Shay, feeling like he should be overjoyed at getting out of the hospital. Instead, he felt numb. "God, I think I've spent more time off the job this month than on," he continued trying to put on a brave face. Shay was a ball of nervous energy, worry etched all over her face.

Kelly hadn't been anywhere close to normal the five days he'd spent in the hospital. He was quiet and did not bring up having a baby with Shay again, at all, not one word.

Shay wondered if she imagined their conversation in the car. Had she made it all up in her mind? No, he definitely said he wanted to have a baby with her. She looked at her gorgeous firefighter and just wanted him to be happy, be carefree, be back to his old Severide self. Once they got home, she thought, he'll be better. I'll make him better.

"Let's get out of here," said Kelly starting to walk towards the door.

"Sorry, you know we have to wheel you out of here. Don't give me any trouble like a certain blonde did when she was discharged," said Hallie playfully.

"You know that was total bull! I was fine!" protested Shay.

"Shay, can you say head injury? You were not fine, but unlike you I will gladly let someone roll my ass out of here," Kelly teased with a small smile, a little of his former self coming out.

It felt good to smile. Kelly thought he had forgotten how to make that facial expression. Apparently not.

Back at home, Shay tried a little too hard. It would have been funny to watch if Kelly could have seen the humor in anything at all. She was fluffing pillows, cooking, burning food, speaking in sweet tones without a touch of sarcasm. Kelly could see all this going on and just felt sad. He wouldn't take any of the calls from his worried friends, he even refused Boden's calls. When Shay tried to talk to him, he forced smiles and said he was fine.

"I just need a few more days," he told Shay, lying to her and himself. As he lay in bed at night he tried to tell himself to get the hell over it. A baby had died. He had seen many people die, terrible deaths. Why could he not let this go? He became so angry with himself he thought he was going to scream. He had to scream. This was the point when he usually got out of bed, washed his face in the bathroom and then headed downstairs to get a drink of water, spending the rest of the night on the couch.

Every night Shay would go downstairs to join him. The first few nights she tried talking to him. Asking, pleading with him to talk to her. Now, she just held him tight on the couch, leaning into his chest. He had lost so much weight, that was another thing for her to worry about. She guessed 15 to 20 pounds. She didn't know how to fix him. She felt utterly useless. It was not a feeling she was used to.

Shay left early for her shift the next morning as Kelly pretended he was asleep. Of course, he heard the knocking on the door that came a few minutes after she left; he just chose to ignore it. The knocking grew louder eventually turning into banging.

"Jesus! There better be a fire or something when I get down there!" he yelled. Kelly walked to the door seeing Casey's smiling face through the glass. That damn goofy smile. He was holding up a bag clearly from Kelly's favorite bagel place.

"I was asleep," mumbled Kelly letting his friend in.

"Sure you were," said Casey keeping that smile in place. Seeing his friend in such bad shape was shocking but Casey kept his cool. Kelly's eyes had pronounced dark circles around them, it looked like he was at the losing end of another bar fight. And the weight loss...Severide was always in the best shape. Casey doubted that any of his pants would stay up on Kelly's current frame.

"You look like shit," continued Casey. "And you won't call me back and Shay is out of her mind with worry. We're eating these bagels and then you are going to talk to me," said Casey plopping himself on the couch.

Silence. The thought of a bagel made Kelly's stomach turn but he grabbed one and took a huge bite. Less talking with your mouth full. More silence.

"Kelly, what can I do? How can I help? I cannot sit on my ass one more day at the station wondering what is wrong with you." More silence.

"Kelly, please," Casey was begging looking at his friend.

Kelly swallowed the huge bite. "I don't know. I really don't know." That was all Kelly could say and it was the truth.

"Tell me what you're thinking, what you're feeling, something," continued Matt nowhere near ready to give up.

"Matt, I don't know," Kelly tried to find the words. "It's like I'm not me. It's...it's like I'm trying to turn on a switch that will make everything good again but I can't reach it. I'm never gonna reach it. Every night when I should be asleep all I see is that baby. Isabelle. Dead in my arms."

Casey didn't know what to say. He had no words to fix this. What Shay described sounded like depression, now he was sure of it. Growing up with his mom he knew the look of it, the smell of it. It had been an extra member of the Casey household since he was a little kid. Most of the burden fell to Christie, his older sister. She tried to shield her little brother from it but the ugliness seeped in. His friend needed help, professional help, but knowing Kelly that would bring this conversation to a quick end.

"I know that telling you that you did everything possible is pointless. You already know this. You do. But I am going to tell you that everyone at 51 needs to see you. You need to get it through your thick skull that you are not alone," Casey wanted to get Kelly out of that apartment. He knew it always helped with his mom and that the guys would cheer up his friend at least temporarily.

"The thought of getting dressed and going somewhere sounds like the last thing I would want to do, or could do," Kelly said with a total honesty Casey had rarely seen. Their relationship was based on competition and testosterone filled conversations, and trying to beat the hell out of each other in the ring - not honest conversation.

"Okay, I'm going really low here, but...Shay could really use the night away from this place," Casey said waiting for the angry reaction. It didn't come.

"You did not just pull the Shay card?" asked Kelly a piece of his former self coming out. "Seriously though, I know I've put her through hell. I feel like shit about that too. She deserves so much better, so much better than me."

Crap, this was taking a wrong turn and Casey knew he had to correct the course. "No, way. That girl loves you like nothing I've seen. Really, all those others, those many, many others," teased Casey chuckling, "have nothing on Shay." He saw a grin on his friend's face and continued, "She even got in Boden's ass yesterday!"

"No! What happened?" Kelly was perking up a little.

"Yeah, Boden was asking her why you haven't returned any of his many calls and she went full throttle Shay on him. She asked him if he was aware that you had almost died. Was he aware of that little fact? Then she asked if she should get the union reps down here to see how much time you could legally take off. Boden sounded like he was choking, no words came out but he made a little grumbling sound and stormed off to his office. Mouch gave her a high five when she left the room!" Casey was laughing with Kelly joining in. He was laughing. Casey had to get his friend to flip that switch.

Later that night...  
Kelly was nervous walking into the bar. He tried to shake it off but it had been so long since he had seen his friends. Of course, the first person he saw was Shay. Her whole face smiled and he was reminded of how truly beautiful she was. God, had he really forgotten that over the last few weeks. She was at his side holding his hand in hers, squeezing tightly. She looked at him with that same look she had when she kissed him for the first time. Thank God he hadn't lost that.

"Hey, gorgeous," Kelly whispered in her ear. His smile matched hers and Shay felt optimism for the first time in days.

All the guys gathered around Kelly making him feel a little claustrophobic. Their faces were all happy smiles, words all encouraging with a little ball busting thrown in. No one gave the slightest indication of how concerned they were. Kelly's appearance gave away everything he was trying to hide. He was not okay, but his friends were doing all they could to remind him of what life felt like. Living, laughing, enjoying each other. Kelly felt a little like his former self. It gave him hope. Shay also felt a little lighter for the first time in weeks. Kelly brought his girl in and gave her a soft kiss, then another. "Hey, get a room!" shouted Mouch followed by laughter. Shay's man was going to make it back. He had to.

Kelly Severide truly joined the living when he returned to work. He smiled more as each day passed, laughed a little more... that Severide cockiness would show up and the guys knew he had returned. Shay found herself quicker on the smart ass comments, the worry in her face fading. Dawson and Mills made it their own little competition to see who could fatten up the lieutenant first. Shay and Kelly weren't complaining, the meals were unbelievable.

Casey knew the old Kelly was back when he didn't have to go light on squad's head honcho during sparring and Kelly laid him out on his ass.

"Well, I guess I don't have to treat you like my sister anymore," laughed Casey from the floor reaching a hand out to his friend.

"No, I'm good," said Kelly pulling Casey up. "Thanks for everything Matt. Really, you have no idea..." continued Kelly.

"Is this the part where we kiss?" asked truck's lieutenant puckering up.

"You know Otis is more my type," Kelly said with a straight face before both lieutenants erupted in laughter.


	6. Chapter 6

There was one positive that came out of the baby Isabelle tragedy, the two lieutenants had never been closer. The blame game emanating from each man's guilt over Andy Darden's death was gone. The awkward moments and arguing following the Heather Darden "incident" seemed like they had never occurred. Casey was looking after Severide like an overprotective brother and Shay couldn't have been happier. She always worried about Kelly on the job. But since they became more than roommates, more than best friends, Shay's level of worry reached new heights. Kelly's descent into the darker corners of his mind also added to Shay's concern. Now that Kelly was "back" she didn't want anything to harm this man she loved. So, yes, she was happy that Casey had an extra set of eyes on Kelly.

"Damn, you are beautiful," Kelly said quietly as Shay met him in the firehouse kitchen. He made sure no one could hear, but the light in his eyes told a story to everyone.

"Sshhh," whispered Shay. "You're so bad. Mmmm, but so good," she said in his ear attempting a sexy voice but failing miserably.

Kelly laughed so loudly that Shay turned a bright shade of red. So much for clandestine meetings in the kitchen.

They decided to stay home that night, no joining friends at the bar. No, this would be another night in. The passion had only increased in the past few weeks. Kelly was a giving man, but his recovery had led him to pursue a fierce drive to make Shay happy, in every way. Almost every way. There still had been no mention of a baby, of them making a baby together.

"How do you do that?" Shay asked out of breath as Kelly ran his tongue slowly back up her stomach, lingering on her breasts, and finally full on her lips. His eyes were half closed as he innocently shrugged one shoulder and gave her that devilish grin. Shay had never felt this intensity before with any man or woman. She wrapped her arms and legs around this man vowing to never let go. He used more than his mouth the next time and Shay felt shudders of pleasure echo from deep within her. She breathed in Kelly's smell and exhaled slowly, eyes closed, a huge smile on her face.

Kelly rolled off of her propping his head up on one arm. He still had that grin on his face obviously satisfied with his results.

Shay opened one eye and laughed out loud, "So you're feeling pretty good about yourself right now, are you?"

"Yes, I am. More than satisfied," said Kelly old cockiness intact, the grin seemingly a permanent fixture on his face.

Shay rolled over quickly on top of her fireman and began round two, this time she was in charge. Her hands started on his face, moving down his chest. She leaned in pressing her mouth against his, opening her eyes to see the look of pleasure on his face. She rolled him on top of her and Kelly moaned as Shay's hands moved down his back like velvet stopping and teasing before they started their journey again. They slowly moved to the front and Kelly was completely in her control. How could such a small woman have such power thought Kelly as Shay went deeper and deeper. Kelly couldn't think, he was laying completely still, and completely at peace.

Kelly had been with many women, too many, but not like this. He could truly say that he had a happiness within him that he hadn't experienced before. Hell, he'd been in love, but there was always a desire for more, something in him that was never satisfied. Right now he lay flat on his back completely satisfied and it was Shay's turn to have a cocky grin on her face.

That night Shay went downstairs for a glass of water, so thirsty for some reason she thought laughing to herself. A quick glance at her phone, three texts? At this time of night? Clarice.

Shay read the messages quickly, all of them asking to see her, knowing she didn't deserve it, but asking nonetheless. Typical Clarice thought Shay. You have got to be kidding me. Shay deleted the messages, headed back up to Kelly, and tossed and turned all night long.

The next morning, Kelly was heading to the firehouse leaving Shay behind. She was off and he was on shift. It seemed strange to be going in without her.

"Be careful and don't do anything stupid," said Shay as Kelly kissed her on the forehead.

"Never," he said innocently. "Hey, I'll miss you. Be good," Kelly continued with a smile. He gave her another kiss then moaned, "Ahhh, I don't want to go! It's such bullshit that Boden gave us separate shifts." He gave her one more look and forced himself out the door.

Shay's phone was littered with five more texts from Clarice. Each text was a little more desperate, a little more sad, and each one mentioned Wesley more and more. The last text was about needing to apologize, needing closure, and letting Wesley see Shay one more time. Jesus, Shay thought. I am going to have to actually text her so that she will stop with this. Damn, I should have told Kelly about the texts last night. Shay contemplated whether to text him now and let him know what was going on. No, she would basically tell Clarice to go to hell and that would be the last of it.

"I'm sorry things are not going well, but you made your decision. We are done. Please don't text me anymore."

As Shay hit send, she felt like she was ridding her life of Clarice once and for all. She had loved this woman more than anyone else before, she would always have love for this woman. But now she knew her future was without this woman. She could hit send and know that it was over. Nothing Clarice could say or do would draw her back in, not even Wesley. Kelly was the man in her life and she was so thankful to have him. She knew others thought she was crazy to trust this womanizer, but she knew Kelly like none of them. She knew every part of him and trusted him with every part do herself.

The knock at the door startled Shay back to reality. Her mouth dropped as she opened the door and found herself looking into Clarice's face. Her eyes lowered and she saw Wesley in her arms.

"I am so sorry to just drop by," started Clarice, "but you wouldn't respond and I didn't feel good about the way I left it. No, that was wrong. I treated you like shit and I am so sorry." Clarice was crying now and passed Wesley to Shay in one quick movement before making her way to a box of Kleenex.

Shay had no words as she looked into Wesley's eyes. The baby had grown so much and was aware of his surroundings now. He was just a newborn when Clarice walked away for the 2nd? 3rd? time. Wesley was looking at Shay and it hurt. Shay knew this had almost been her family, her son, the ache was still there.

Clarice came around the back of Shay with a big wad of tissue in her hand looking over Shay's shoulder down at Wesley.

Kelly walked into the unlocked apartment with a huge bouquet of yellow tulips and a silly smile on his face. "Shay! Guess who couldn't stay..." Kelly's hand dropped the flowers as his brain would not accept what he was seeing. Shay was holding Wesley, Clarice was right by her side and Kelly on the outside looking in.

"You have got to be shitting me!" Kelly yelled wanting to hit something, really wanting to smash someone's face in. He turned, walked out the door, and found himself running to his car. He revved the engine and tore down the street driving so fast, trying to drive far away from what he just saw.

Shay dumped Wesley back in Clarice's arm and ran after Kelly screaming, "Kelly! Kelly! Dammit, stop! It's not what you think." Shay was shouting at the back of Kelly's car, so far way now. Shay stormed back in her apartment and told Clarice to please leave. "Don't ever contact me again," she said, some of the hardest words she would ever speak. She shut the door on that part of her life and knew she had to find Kelly. She had to find him, NOW. Shay's heart was breaking thinking about the look on Kelly's face when he walked into their apartment. She had never seen that level of hurt on his face before, through injuries, a broken neck, depression...that look was different. It was the look of something hitting you out of the blue, sucker punching you with such force you're left without breath. He had the look of utter betrayal.

They had come so far, but it felt like their journey was just beginning. It couldn't end here, like this. Shay hadn't done anything wrong. Had she? The guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach answered. She had to find Kelly now. Shay picked up her phone and dialed Casey.

* * *

Kelly wiped at his face as he sped through the city looking for something, anything, nothing. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, Kelly kept thinking. I am the stupidest son of a bitch in the world! How can a lesbian suddenly not be a lesbian? I am so stupid. He saw a flashing neon sign "The Drunk Monkey." Perfect thought Kelly as he squealed into the parking lot. He zipped up his jacket getting out of his car and headed into the dive. One mission right now, one thought, get so drunk I forget what I just saw, I forget the pain in my chest, I forget Leslie Shay.

* * *

Casey and Shay investigated every possible place they could think where Kelly might head. "Where the hell is he?" asked Shay for the hundredth time. The guilt was growing and Shay didn't want one more minute to pass without telling Kelly, reminding Kelly how much she loves him. Shay pushed the thought of how Kelly must be feeling out of her brain. It was too much.

Casey didn't let Shay off the hook like she thought he would. He didn't say it was okay. He didn't say Kelly was overreacting. He didn't say she had done nothing wrong. When she told him what happened, he was silent for a minute then said, "We gotta find him."

Benny finally called Shay back, no word from Kelly. A trip to the boat he was fixing up shed equal results - nothing.

"Where the hell is he?" Shay's mantra was wearing thin.

* * *

Kelly made his way to the bar not seeing any of the other patrons, focused on one thing...getting drunk enough to bury his pain. If it were only that easy. Slamming tequila shots, one after another, he was a man not looking for any company. The women in the bar saw Kelly the moment he entered. He was not someone who could blend in with the furniture. The pissed off look on his face made him that much more irresistible.

"The next one is on me," said a beautiful young thing with the self confidence of someone who didn't get turned down for anything. Kelly didn't know it was a blonde beautiful young thing buying him a drink. It could have been his 75 year-old grandmother for all he knew. He was too far gone and too far drunk to notice who or what was buying him drinks.

"What's your name gorgeous and what's the mission to drink all the tequila on the planet in one night?" The blonde was shifting forward in her stool trying to get Kelly to notice her ample breasts. Kelly didn't even know there were breasts involved. He just drank and drank. And then he decided he had to pee.

He stumbled off his stool and walked to where he thought the bathroom might be. He made his way in and found his drink buyer following him. She came up behind him and unbuttoned his pants quickly. When Kelly felt a hand lingering too long he gained a little clarity.

"Whoa! What the hell! I just need to take a piss." Kelly had the thick tongued slur of someone trying to appear sober. The blonde laughed and tried to help Kelly zip his pants but his hands pushed hers away. He made it back to a stool close to where he was sitting and the blonde was again by his side. This time she didn't sit down but moved behind him draping her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek and blew hot breath lightly in his ear. Kelly pulled away almost falling off the stool. Can't I catch one break tonight?

Neither Kelly nor his overeager temptress saw her boyfriend enter the bar. Boyfriend may be overstating it. He was at least 15 years older than her and had the look on his face of someone who had seen this whole situation before, many times. He made his way to Kelly and looked at his girl's eyes seeing the expectant look of what are you going to do about this? More out of obligation than any outrage, the man hit Kelly square in the face. The jolt hurt but also felt good in a strange way. Kelly awoke from his stupor and began pummeling the unfortunate boyfriend. That felt good too. Kelly took more blows to the face and ribs then delivered more of his own. This back and forth went on and on. Finally, the boyfriend delivered a blow that let Kelly slip into unconsciousness, the first time that night that Kelly would be able to forget the name Leslie Shay.

Kelly felt the pounding in his head before he could even open his eyes. "Shit!" he moaned trying to open just one. He was rubbing his eyes vigorously trying to see something. Everything was a blur. Kelly blinked several times and then heard a deep male voice say, "Good morning sleeping beauty!" His eyes finally focused and Kelly could see the bars in front of him clearly now and just beyond the bars a police officer with a key heading in his direction.


	7. Chapter 7

"Casey, I need a big favor," mumbled Kelly into his phone still trying to rub the bleariness out of his eyes. His head felt like exploding from the inside out and he still wasn't sure if he called the right person - Matt or his dad. It had been a toss up but he didn't think he could face any of his dad's questions and "told you so attitude."

"Severide. What's up?" asked Casey playing dumb while Shay was fiercely mouthing the words, "Where is he?"

"Yeah, hang tight. I'll be right there." Casey turned to Shay's questioning look and answered, "He's in jail."

"What the hell? Is he okay? Let's go get him!" Shay said heading out the door.

"Whoa. I'M going to get him. If you show up, he's going to run. I know him. You need to let me go get him, alone."

Shay started to disagree but realized there was truth in Casey's words. Kelly would have surely hung up if he knew Leslie was there. He would run if she showed up. That damn look in his eyes when he saw her with Clarice and the baby.

"Go." Shay pushed Casey out the door. "Text me and tell me everything is okay and he's alright, okay?"

"I will because everything is okay and I'm sure he's fine." Casey smiled and headed off to bail out his friend. It wasn't the first time, but hopefully this would be the last.

Kelly's head hung straight down as he sat on a chair in the police station waiting area. The officers weren't charging him with anything. "Haha. We figured he just needed a place to sleep it off. He kept saying some girl's name, hahaha, always about a girl, right?"

"Thanks a lot officer. The CFD appreciates it." Casey looked at the sad state of his friend and knew he had his work cut out for him. "You look like shit. Please tell me the other guy is at least dead." Casey was smiling at his friend to hide his worry.

"I don't know what the other guy even looks like. Can we get the hell out of here and go back to your place?" Kelly rose slowly really feeling it in his ribs. His left eye wouldn't open all the way and his cheek was throbbing. He was sure Casey was putting it lightly when he said he looked like shit. Casey pulled out of the station and stole a glance at his friend.

"What's wrong with your place?" Casey wasn't admitting any knowledge yet, not until the truck was rolling at least 40mph, no chance of Kelly jumping out.

"I am one stupid son of a bitch."

"Truer words have never been spoken." Casey laughed and was glad to see Kelly break a small smile. "Shay is sick about what happened. It is not at all what you..."

"You asshole! You know what happened and you're just now saying something. I should have called my dad." Kelly was reaching for the door, but they were comfortably at 42mph.

"Things are not what you think!" Casey was yelling now. "As USUAL, you have it all wrong! As usual you don't think that there is any possibility that you are wrong! But this time you are going to keep your ass in that seat and listen to me!" The yelling was not Casey's style and it had its intended effect. Kelly sat in silence.

"Nothing is going on between Shay and Clarice! Nothing, nada! Get that through your thick skull!" Softening his tone a little, he tried to get through to his friend. "I know that what you saw must have hurt. I can't imagine. But you need to really think about this. What did you see?"

"I saw a beautiful family portrait that I had no business in. I saw Shay looking so happy with Wesley in her arms..."

"Okay, stop right there! Yes, Shay happy with a baby in her arms. That makes sense. Clarice texted her over and over, then shows up at your apartment, dumping the baby in her arms, with her usual Clarice routine." Casey glanced at Kelly to see if he could get a read on his thoughts. "Honestly, Kelly! Do you really think that if Shay was going to cheat on you she would invite the person to YOUR apartment?"

Silence. Casey could see the wheels turning. Now to bring it home.

"And when did you become such a puss?" Casey kept his eyes straight ahead as he delivered this last question.

"Excuse me?!" Kelly could feel his face flush with anger.

"When does Severide run? Ever? I can't believe you didn't kick Clarice out, or yell at Shay and kick her out, but just leave? Not a word? No fight?" Casey was shaking his head in mock disbelief.

"You're right."

"Wait, did I just hear you admit you were wrong?" Casey knew he had won and was smiling now. He could send that text to Shay.

"Don't be a dick about it. I think I was too afraid to find out that Shay didn't want me after all. That she figured out she could do a lot better. It was easier to run. You're right." Kelly hadn't said those words in a long, long time. They didn't hurt as much as he thought they would.

Shay had cleaned and re-cleaned every bathroom in the apartment. She vacuumed, dusted, and was in the process of cleaning out the fridge when she heard the door to the apartment open. Afraid to find only Casey entering, she peeked around the fridge door and let out the breath she was holding.

"Kel! Oh my God! Your face! Are you okay?" Shay's apprehension was gone as she headed straight for her beaten and bruised man.

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed. I should have heard you out. I'm an ass." Kelly stated flatly holding Shay and squeezing so tight she could barely breath. It felt good to feel her soft hair on his face, see those beautiful eyes looking up at him.

"Shut up! You are not apologizing. I am the one that needs to apologize. Kelly, I am so sorry that I didn't tell you when Clarice texted me. I didn't want you to worry. You have nothing to worry about with me, ever. " Shay loved this man entirely and wanted him to feel that love. She wanted him to believe that he deserved that love. She didn't know if that would ever happen, but she would do everything she could to prove it to him.

Shay didn't mention the terrible scene Kelly walked into when he saw Clarice and baby Wesley with her and the hurt it must have caused him. That was for later when they were alone.

"Well, now that Kelly has admitted he is an ass and was actually wrong, I feel that my work here is done." Casey winked at Shay as she led him to the door.

"Casey, thank you. We'll get this guy all straightened out eventually," Shay whispered in Casey's ear.

"You're such an optimist," Casey laughed. Kelly could hear his two friends laughing and had a suspicion it was at his expense. It felt good, like everything was as it should be.

Shay grabbed an ice pack and gently placed it on Kelly's swollen eye as he sat on the couch.

"Kelly," she began knowing that much more needed to be said, but he interrupted her before she could say another word.

"No. You don't need to say one more thing about this. I want to say something. Seeing you with Wesley hurt. It hurt because I wasn't a part of that. It also hurt because I saw the look in your eyes. You want a baby. You were honest with me from the very beginning." Kelly pulled Shay on his lap. She was straddling him and looking directly into his face.

"I didn't want to say yes at first because I thought it was some knee jerk reaction to Clarice leaving. To be honest, some desire of yours to have something that wouldn't leave. Then I didn't want to have a baby with you if we weren't together as a family, if you and I were not together as a couple. I've loved you for so long." Kelly was struggling to find the exact words he needed to tell her.

"Then I was a wreck after baby Isabelle died. I didn't feel like I could bring a baby into this world. The risks were too high." Shay's tears were making Kelly's eyes fill as well. He had to get this out.

"Shay, I was afraid. I Am afraid. I have never had so much that I was so scared of losing. Does that make any sense at all?" Kelly's face was wet with a mix of Shay's tears and his own. He wasn't in his comfort zone revealing so much but he knew that Shay deserved some explanation. He said he wanted to have a baby with her at Isabelle's funeral and then no mention of it again... until now.

Shay nodded her head and waited for her man to continue.

"Casey called me a puss today and I agreed with him. I am going to man up right now and tell you the truth. I want to have a baby with you, spend the rest of my life with you and our family, and I want us to start on that plan tonight." There. He said it.

Shay hoped those were the words that were making their way to the surface. Finally, they came. Her huge smile was all Kelly needed to see. His ribs were making it difficult to pick her up and carry her to his room. She squirmed out of his arms landing on her feet and quickly headed upstairs.

"You don't have to sweep me off my feet tonight," Shay teased. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not really the sweep me up kind of gal. But I will let you find another way to man up in a few minutes."

"Count on it." Bruised ribs and battered face, Kelly was up to the challenge. With a ridiculously wide grin on his face, he started slow. He slowly kissed Shay's hair and moved down to her lips, lingering on them, giving them the attention they deserved.

His mouth hovered over her breasts teasing her but not touching. She moaned softly and he began a light trail of kisses from one breast to the other. Shay felt every nerve alive with desire, her insides on fire.

Kelly's hand gently stroked her upper thigh going deeper and stronger with each sound that Shay made. Her heart was pounding faster with a desire so deep she could think of nothing but what he was doing to her, completely in this moment, nothing else mattered. She shuddered uncontrollably when he entered her at last. She couldn't have waited another minute. His skin was pressed against hers, no separation, bodies intertwined in one. Shay spasmed as she climaxed and heard his name come from her mouth. She felt a sweet release and was completely his, every fiber of her being.

She snuggled her head into the cup of his neck and smiled. He was smiling too. Makeup sex had never been better. And this wasn't just makeup sex, it was make "something" sex. The beautiful couple began their quest to make a baby.

"Everyone! Meeting in the front in ten minutes! Mandatory!" barked Chief Boden leaving no mistake that he was pissed. He felt like he was the main hall monitor in a hormone enraged high school giving d-halls for PDA (public displays of affection). He was putting an end to this bullshit right now.

"I don't know what has given many of you in here the mistaken idea that this is a couple's retreat, but we are Firehouse 51, in the business of putting out fires and saving lives. There will be no more kissing, hugging and whatever the hell else is going on in here any more. If you have a problem with that, let me know right now so that I can come up with a remedy. Any questions? Good, now get back to work. Do your jobs!" Boden turned on his heels, headed straight back to his office and slammed his door.

"Severide, you hear that?" asked Mouch smiling broadly without lifting his face out of his newspaper.

"First off, screw you! Secondly, I think Chief was talking about Dawson and her boy toy. They think if they go outside, we suddenly lose our ability to see and we don't SEE them." Kelly was laughing, looking at Shay as she mouthed the words "shut up."

"First off, screw you, Severide! Kissing Shay, slapping her ass, hugging her. And that was all BEFORE you even started your relationship!" Dawson was speaking with fire in her voice but playfulness in her eyes. The men were laughing waiting to see what Kelly's comeback would be.

"Hey! That's enough," Casey jumped in awkwardly. "Chief's right. We need to get back to what we do." Silence, no one moving.

"Just because you're not getting any!" Kelly was roaring now as he threw an empty water bottle at Casey's head missing wildly. Laughter erupted again, Casey joining in this time.

Shay had no way of knowing that while all this was going on there was something going on inside her. A mass of cells was forming, forming a very distinctive set of genetic code, a part of her and a part of Kelly. No, it would be another five weeks before she would begin to think of taking a pregnancy test, or mentioning the possibility to Kelly, or calling Dawson excitedly. Another five weeks before the words, "We're having a baby," would come pouring out of Kelly's mouth to match the tears pouring out of his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been five weeks since Shay's last period. Well, had it been five weeks? Shay was counting backwards doubting her math. She couldn't be pregnant already, could she? People try to get pregnant for years, don't they? She would stop on the way home and get a few pregnancy tests. I'm sure this one will be negative, too soon, so no need to mention it to Kelly.

Shay sat in the bathroom looking at the plus sign on the little stick. She stared at it, her brain not accepting what her eyes were seeing. She peeled open another test. She must have done something wrong. She read the instructions again and followed them to the letter. Another plus sign. Oh my God, oh my God. Her hands were shaking so hard, she could barely text Kelly. When do you get off shift?

His answer was full of concern. What's wrong? Are you okay? Do I need to come home?

Everything is fine. Just wondering if I should wait up.

Not off till 9 am. Go to bed. Love you.

Could she wait until nine to tell him? She would have to. The excitement was too much. She slept off and on all night trying not to look at the clock. 2:00 am, 3:45 am... Shay decided that 9 would never get there. 9 eventually came and went, 10 rolled around and Shay was texting Kelly. No response. Okay, don't panic. If anything happened to Kelly, Dawson would have called, Chief, someone. A call comes in and you are stuck there two hours after your shift. This was torture.

Kelly strolled in around 10:30, big smile on his face. He took one look at Shay and knew something was up. His smile faded. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Talk to me!"

Shay's hair was a mess, dark circles under her eyes, but a huge smile took over half her face. She pulled out all the pregnancy tests and handed them to Kelly. The puzzled look on his face told her she may have to do some explaining.

"The plus sign means..." she hinted.

"Positive? Positive! You're pregnant? We're pregnant?" Kelly's face was a mixture of disbelief, excitement, and pure terror.

Shay jumped up in Kelly's arms and he swung her around kissing her face, little kisses all over her face. She was laughing and crying at the same time. This was the reaction she dreamed of, the reaction she knew would come from this man with a heart the size of a mountain, this man who let her in, first as friend then as lover.

"We're having a baby!" Kelly yelled, wanting the whole world to know.

The couple decided to keep the news quiet for at least a few more weeks. Shay had an appointment with her ob/gyn in three days, they knew waiting until after the first trimester was smart, also, Boden just got on everyone's ass about being too "close" at the station. They would wait.

Dawson knew within fifteen minutes, Casey about five minutes after that. Shay couldn't wait to tell her friend and spilled the news once they were alone in the ambulance.

Kelly saw Casey doing paperwork, sat down next to him, and simply said, "We're pregnant." He leaned back and smiled like he just won the lotto, waiting for his friend's reaction. Everyone in the station could hear a loud whoop coming from where the two lieutenants were sitting.

"Kelly, I'm sorry but I already told Gabby. It just kind of slipped out." Shay hoped he wouldn't be mad at her for breaking their agreement.

Kelly just laughed loudly and then chuckled, "Uh, yeah, I'm out too. I told Casey within the first thirty minutes. This news is too damn good to keep to ourselves. We need some good news around here. Hell, I even want to tell strangers!"

Their laughter was drowned out by the call for paramedics to a tenement in Washington Park, possible gang shooting. Kelly kissed Shay.

"Be careful." Kelly looked worried and mouthed the words, "I love you," as Shay and Dawson took off to their call. Shay smiled at Kelly and waved like she was leaving for church camp. How could someone so beautiful be so dorky? Kelly smiled to himself hoping their child was a replica of Shay and missed his side of the gene pool.

Shots fired on the second floor, one possible injury. Shay and Dawson were rushing up the stairs still talking babies, and morning sickness, and blue for boys, pink for girls, barely noticing the gun aimed at their faces as they opened the door. Dawson moved to the front, placing herself between her friend and the gun.

"We are here to help. Just put the gun down. We just want to help if someone's injured. Are you okay?" Dawson was using her calm voice and a disarming smile to get through to the gunman. Not much of a man stood in front of her. The kid couldn't be more than 14-years-old, shaking, a snarl forming from his mouth. The shaking was from whatever he was on, not from being afraid, or unfamiliar with holding a gun in his hand. No, the gun was a familiar accessory.

"Shut up, bitch! Get in and shut the door," the teen said with a smile on his face.

"We are going to back up and get out of your way," started Dawson pushing Shay backwards.

"Get in here NOW!" he yelled firing a shot past Dawson's ear, hitting the door only. Dawson felt Shay jump when the shot rang out, her own heart pounding through her chest.

"Okay, okay. Put the gun down. We're coming in." Dawson shut the door behind them still holding up both of her hands. "What do you want? We are just trying to do our jobs." She had a bad feeling about this kid. He seemed hard and didn't have any of the nerves that a kid should have when holding two people at gunpoint. No, this was a kid used to holding a gun at someone's face.

The men at Firehouse 51 heard the police chatter on the radio and knew shots had been fired. Kelly didn't say a word to anyone, no permission to leave was asked of Boden; he got into his car and tore off to the tenement. Shay and his baby needed him. He didn't care what he had to do to get them safe, he just knew it was happening. He was almost shaking with fury when he exited his car and headed to the building. Second floor, he had to get to the second floor. Police stopped him from entering.

"My girlfriend is one of the paramedics up there," Kelly pleaded. "You've got to let me go."

The word "girlfriend" felt so wrong coming from Kelly's mouth. It sounded trivial, so short term. But what could he say? The woman I love and value more than my life is up there? The woman carrying my baby, my world is up there? No, "girlfriend" would have to suffice for now.

"Lieutenant, we are getting her out of there. I promise. You need to move back and let us do our jobs." The officer clearly saw Kelly's uniform and was giving him the respect it afforded.

Shay's turn to try with their young kidnapper. "You don't need us. You can just walk out the front door. No questions asked."

"Bitch, you are my ticket out of here. Get up here! They won't let anything happen to that pretty face of yours." Shay moved toward the kid and he roughly grabbed her arm, stroking her face with the gun he had in his other hand. Tears came to her eyes as she tried to stay calm.

Dawson's eyes were filling up as she tried one last plea, "Take me instead! My brother is a cop. They won't let anything happen to me."

"Bitch, back up! WE have a bond," he said stroking Shay's face roughly and laughing. "Let's get the hell out of here." He led Shay out the door and slowly down the stairs. She was shaking now, one hand on her stomach. Do whatever it takes, she said to herself. As she stepped onto the sidewalk, gun to her head, she saw Kelly. He was being held back by a police officer, a look of pure anguish on his face.

The young gunman stumbled as he took a step forward, the gun lowered away from her face temporarily. She pushed him hard and tore herself away. Kelly watched in horror literally unable to do anything.

The gun went off as Shay tripped and fell into the street. Kelly ripped free from his captor and ran towards Shay. Not hearing the gunfire going on around him, not feeling bullets whirring by his head, he was locked into his path. He covered Shay with his body gently feeling her arms, shoulders, stomach for any wetness, the telltale sign of bleeding.

"Shay, talk to me! Are you okay?" He was frantic, too terrified to notice the gun battle was over. He pulled away afraid of what he might find. She looked up at him obviously in pain but forced a reassuring smile in her face.

Dawson was on them, pushing Kelly to the side. "Shay, where are you hurt? Let me see." She began scanning for blood and found none.

"My shoulder! Ahhh! I landed on it when I fell." Kelly could breathe again. Shay wasn't shot, she hadn't landed on her stomach. Thank God! He was holding her hand, stroking her head, trying to hold back the tears threatening to come to the surface. She needed strong right now. He could do strong.

"We're going to the hospital to get you all checked out. Then Kelly's taking you home to rest. Jesus, Shay, that was scary as hell." Dawson felt tears forming and couldn't push them down. Shay was looking at Kelly now, a quizzical look on her face. She had her hand on his arm, stroking it, trying to calm him down. She pulled her hand away and it was red. What was this, she thought, her mind not registering this new information.

"Severide, you're shot!" Dawson yelled the obvious directing her attention to her injured friend.

At the hospital, Shay had a dislocated shoulder, but no other injuries. The baby was fine. In fact she was sure the baby was perfect. Kelly, on the other hand, was not doing quite as well. He only had a flesh wound, but was giving the doctor hell about spending the night.

"I am leaving right now. This is called a scratch! I am not spending the night in here." He jumped off the examination table and headed to Shay. He held her tight and she thought he was never letting go.

"I'm okay. Just my shoulder, baby good... Say something, please." Shay looked at Kelly eyeing his arm skeptically.

"You are quitting your job. Tomorrow. This is not open for debate. This is happening and it's happening now. You cannot endanger your life or our baby's life for one more day."

Shay's mouth fell open but no words came out.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day, Kelly marched into Chief Boden's office. It was the perfect day to get the ball rolling. Shay was out for a few days with her shoulder injury, he was officially out for a few days also, but everyone knew that a lieutenant had paperwork, so that was his excuse for coming in.

"Chief, Shay is quitting when she comes back. Sorry to break it to you like this, but it's happening. What does she need to do, forms, paperwork? Whatever there is, you can give it to me and she'll fill it out tonight." Kelly was pacing in front of Boden's desk.

"Are you on drugs again? If Leslie Shay wants to resign, she will come into my office and quit. You go home. Don't come back for two days. The only paperwork you are taking with you is from your own desk." Boden's voice reached a new decibel level with his last sentence.

"Fine. She will come in day after tomorrow and quit. And NO, I'm not on drugs but thanks for the concern," yelled Kelly slamming the door on his way out.

Boden chuckled wishing he could be a fly on the wall in that apartment tonight.

"You did what?" yelled Shay in Kelly's face. "You are the biggest male chauvinist on the planet! Wait, you can look that up later! You are completely unbeliev..."

Kelly interrupted, "I am unbelievable? I am unbelievable? You obviously have no concern for our baby, but I do! You cannot continue to..."

It was Shay's turn to interrupt, "We will talk about this when you are calm and not totally out of control." She knew how pissed he got when she used that condescending voice and that was her goal right now. She turned around and walked up the stairs to her room, lightly shutting the door.

Kelly slammed the front door as he stormed out practically foaming from the mouth. He started walking fast down the street one way changed his mind and reversed course. It was snowing, he was freezing, and his arm was throbbing. He went back to the apartment, grabbed an ice pack and headed up to Shay's room. He knocked softly.

"It's Kelly. May I come in."

"Really, Kel? I thought it was the Cookie Monster. Yes, come in." Shay was on her bed, reading a book, looking like she was one with the universe. Kelly could feel his blood pressure rising. No, he would not take the bait. The book was a nice touch though.

"Yes?" asked Shay innocently.

"How's your shoulder? I thought you could use this," he walked to the bed and carefully placed the ice pack on Shay's shoulder. He kissed her forehead and she grabbed his good arm pulling him on the bed.

"Jesus, Kelly! You're freezing! Get in here," Shay said dropping her book and pulling back the covers. She kissed his forehead and draped a leg over his body. He drew closer afraid to say anything. He knew every word would be the wrong one.

"Can we talk calmly now? No screaming?" Shay looked at Kelly, small smile on her face.

He shook his head yes still afraid his words would come out wrong.

"Kelly, I am not quitting. As much as you love your job, that's how much I love my job. It is all I've ever wanted to do." Shay looked at Kelly waiting for a protest. It didn't come.

She continued, "I get why you want me to quit. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't want you to quit. I know you don't want to hear this, but I hate your job. I hate that you are the first one in a burning building and the last one out."

Kelly couldn't believe what Shay was saying. He was shocked. He truly had no words right now.

"Your job doesn't really offer the longest life expectancy. Admit it. That worries me every day." Shay looked at Kelly wondering what he was thinking. He had been quiet for so long.

"Because I love you, I don't tell you any of this. I know you would end up hating me if I forced you to quit, so I let you be the hero, risking your life, and I keep my mouth shut." That was all of it. Shay continued to look at Kelly waiting.

"How this turned into a discussion about my job shows me how good you are at getting your way," Kelly laughed all signs of anger faded. "I never thought about squad like that. I've never had anyone really care that much. Until now. I just want you and our baby to always be safe. I love you." Kelly didn't look particularly happy about this last part.

"Kelly, all I think about is our baby. I know I'm not going to be nine months pregnant and riding around with Dawson in our ambulance. I'm going to be on leave when I can't do my job anymore. So please try not to worry too much." Shay hugged Kelly and hoped this would help.

Back at the station, Kelly did a pretty good job of keeping his worry on the inside for the next few months. The guys pretended not to see when Kelly jumped every time there was a call for paramedics. Kelly always had an eye on Shay and was ready to spring into action if a patient got a little unruly. He never had to. As Shay's stomach grew, so did Kelly's apprehension. He was running around the station trying to attend to all of Shay's needs.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Kelly Severide was a whipped man. And make no mistake, that guy is one hundred percent whipped." said Mouch adjusting his glasses, scanning his newspaper.

"Be nice, Mouch! I like this new Severide. He's just takin' care of his family, nothin' wrong with that," said Hermann defending Kelly, glancing at Shay.

"Said one whipped man about another," continued Mouch. "And how many kids you up to now Hermann? My last count is fifty two." Mouch and Cruz were laughing so hard they didn't notice Shay getting up and making her way towards them.

"Hey, assholes," began Shay as she grabbed Mouch's paper, smacking him on the side of his head with it. "Kelly is just excited about our baby and can't wait for us to begin our family! If anyone has a problem with this, they can kiss my ass! Do you have any questions?" Shay had a little look of crazy in her eyes, more than usual, and the guys knew they better keep their mouths shut.

Kelly got up and walked to the locker room, ready for another shower. He didn't want any part of those hormones right now. The guys were on their own. He didn't see Shay follow.

"What the hell, Kelly! You have nothing to say to them? They are practically insulting me and I'm the one that has to say something. Great! I feel so incredibly happy! Jesus, are you even ready for this?" Shay was pacing in front of Kelly not sure where she was heading, just moving.

"Shay, they weren't even talking about you. They were busting my balls. It was no big deal. Come here, I want to..." Kelly reached out to his beautiful, but a little crazy at the moment, girl.

"Really? Really? So now you are saying I imagined the whole thing? You are impossible!" Shay stormed out while Kelly decided to make that shower happen.

A little shower with the only sound, the only sound at all - the drops of water. Ahhh, perfect.

Kelly opened the door to the apartment and before he stepped in, he could hear Shay's voice, "Kelly, please tell me you brought me my pink lemonade. Please."

"Of course. Come here sexy girl and give me a kiss," Kelly had a huge smile across his face and was holding up a pink bottle waving it back and forth.

"Why do I feel like the word sexy is code for fat?" asked Shay grabbing the bottle from Kelly's hand.

"Sexy is code for sexy. You are so damn beautiful," tried Kelly again.

"Do you not see the size of my ass right now? It is HUGE! Seaworld called and they want their whale back!" Shay was in full crazy mode and Kelly was left a little afraid. Yes, he could handle fire all around him, closing in, smoke choking him, but this... This was truly scary.

"Shay, you've barely gained any weight. You can't even tell you're pregnant from behind. Your stomach looks like a mini basketball. You are beautiful. I am so lucky," he whispered in her ear kissing her neck.

"So my ass looked this huge before? And you are comparing our baby to a basketball! Don't even think about demanding sex right now with that little neck kiss. You are unbelievable!" Shay stormed upstairs never letting go of her lemonade.

Time for another shower thought Kelly wondering if it would be like this for the rest of Shay's pregnancy - two more months. Sixty something more days, how many hours? Ugh, and as far as demanding sex, that was laughable. He wasn't demanding an iced tea from her right now let alone anything else.

But in two months it would be worth it, a beautiful baby would be here. Their baby. The thought was wonderful, exciting, and terrifying. Kelly had been busy putting together a changing table, dresser, finding room for everything. Their place was really meant for singles not a family. It had a cold, sleek look, not warm and loving. He couldn't wait until he found a better place. He couldn't wait to see Shay's face when he took her, eyes closed to their new place, a real home to raise a family. Kelly had been secretly looking for a home and he knew he was getting close to finding a place that she would love.

As Kelly got out of the shower, he was startled with Shay sitting on the toilet waiting for him. "Hi?" he said cautiously reaching for a towel.

"I am so sorry, again," Shay said sniffling. "I am fat, I can't sleep, my back is killing me, I now have cankles, and I've turned into a raving lunatic." Shay was crying now. Kelly grabbed her in tight, holding her to his naked body.

"I will say it again and every day until the day I die, you are beautiful. The lunatic thing is not new. I am giving you the best back rub tonight, you know I have magic fingers," Kelly gave Shay that damn grin. She couldn't help but laugh. They headed to "their" room, really Shay's but now called "theirs." Kelly picked up Shay before they entered and she let out a huge laugh.

"I feel like a blushing bride," she managed to get out between laughs, cracking Kelly up.

"Hey, what are cankles anyways?" asked Kelly plopping his girl on the bed. This sent Shay into further hysterics and left Kelly in his usual condition - dumbfounded and speechless.

At the station Shay was in a good mood, everyone could walk a little easier and not have to avoid those eggshells.

"Hey, our little gremlin seems to be in a good mood today," whispered Dawson when she got Kelly alone for a few minutes. "How are you holding up?" she asked not envying him. She dealt with Shay all day and that was challenging at best. But Kelly dealt with her all night.

He laughed at their secret nickname for the woman they both loved. "No, good, really. She's just so miserable right now. Can you believe the baby will be here in less than two months?"

Aw, thank God he loves her thought Dawson. She would have never guessed a year ago that these two would end up together. Kelly was a changed man. Well, maybe not changed, but more revealed - all his good qualities revealed. And Shay. With a man.

"I cannot believe it. Kelly, you are going to be a great dad. I mean it. I think you were made for this," Dawson was really proud of him. "Oh, and how's the house search going?"

"Thanks, Gabby, that's about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. And now that you mention the the house hunting," Kelly got his phone out and quickly gave it to Dawson. "Look! It looks great, right? I'm looking at it tomorrow. You think she'll like?" His excitement was infectious.

"I love it and Shay is going to absolutely love it. I can keep her busy tomorrow while you look," Gabby gave Kelly a hug and just as they were letting go Shay walked in.

"What is going on?" Shay asked quietly, way too calm for her current condition.

"Uh, nothing," Kelly said a little too quickly.

"Yeah, what do you mean?" asked Dawson. "We're just talking babies," she continued hoping Kelly would get that guilty look off his face. Maybe he should just tell her about the house hunting.

"From where I'm standing, it looks like a lot more than that. You were definitely up to something. That's obvious!" Shay was just getting started.

She turned to Dawson. "It's not enough to have Mills and Casey falling all over themselves for you! You need the other lieutenant too?" Turning to Kelly, "and YOU! Do you know that everyone warned me about you? They wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing. I DEFENDED you! Even to Boden!" Kelly looked at Shay confusion all over his face.

"Yes, the Chief called me in. He wanted to make sure I had both eyes open. That's what he said, both eyes open. I told everyone they didn't really know you the way I did. But now I see it. I'm the one who doesn't know you." Shay wasn't quiet now, in fact, she was screaming and everyone could hear her, Kelly most of all.

"Shay, stop. You don't mean this," Dawson started but was interrupted by the sound of the alarm, truck, squad and paramedics all needed.

"You okay?" asked Casey. "This sounds like a bad one. You sure you're okay?" From what he overheard, Casey knew his friend couldn't be in good shape.

"Yep," said Kelly hopping into squad's truck.

Office building, second floor lit up. People rushing out. Kelly was glad to get the call, get his mind off of all that Shay said. Hormones couldn't cause all that, could they? Jesus, even Boden thought he wasn't good enough. Focus, Kelly told himself.

"Casey, get your men on one and work your way to the second. Severide, you and your men, go in through that window, see if you can get those flames under control. We need to find a way to get any people on the floors above out of here." Boden was a man in charge used to barking orders.

Kelly and Casey took off but not before Matt gave Kelly a slap on the back. "It'll all be fine. You good?"

"Yes, yes, fine." Kelly took off up the ladder, his men close behind. He was through the window and found himself covered in thick smoke.

"Capp, Hadley, check for anyone on this floor. I'll head up and make sure the next floor is clear. The stairs look good." Kelly was up to the next floor calling out, looking for victims - no one.

"I'm heading up to the next floor. Capp, anything down there?"

"No one. All clear. We're heading up to keep you company," answered Capp rushing up the stairs to join his lieutenant.

"Sounds good," Kelly was going office to office, calling out and nothing.

Capp and Hadley met up with him when Boden's voice came booming through on the radio, "Severide, you done? Casey and his men are having a hard time containing this one. We need you out before those stairs go!"

"All clear! We're heading down now Chief!" Kelly answered as he ushered Capp and Hadley down the stairs ahead of him.

The smoke was getting thicker and thicker, hard for squad to see even a foot in front of them. They were pushing it hard down the stairs, Kelly yelling, "Go, go, go!"

Capp's foot fell through a stair. "Ahhh!" he called out twisting his ankle. Kelly and Hadley grabbed him, putting his arms on their shoulders.

"These stairs are done! Let's go back up and get to a window! Chief we're on two. We'll find a window. Capp hurt his ankle, tell Shay and Dawson." Kelly's number one goal was to get his men out of there. Capp was hobbling around pretty well, that was a good sign... probably just a sprain.

Kelly and his men made it to an office a little less smoky and pried the window open. A billow of smoke exited, then he hung his head out looking for Boden. The Chief already had the ladder heading up with Casey in tow.

"Hang on!" yelled Casey willing the ladder to go faster. Finally, he reached the window sill and Capp was the first one out. It was a little slow going, getting the injured fireman out and heading down with Casey's help. No Hadley and Severide.

Shay was watching all of this practically holding her breath. Jesus, Kelly, get the hell out of there. Always have to be last, don't you?

Dawson wrapped Capp's ankle, just a light sprain. Probably wouldn't even miss a shift.

Dawson told her friend the whole house hunting debacle on the ride to the burning office building, and Shay knew she was officially crazy. Baby or not, she had lost her mind. How could she think something was going on between her two best friends? Yes, must be insane.

After apologizing to Gabby over and over, she said what they both were thinking, "What am I even going to say to Kelly?"

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. You mess up. You say sorry. He forgives you. This is what couples who love each other do. You will have many, many years of this ahead, although I think it will be him messing up," Dawson said laughing trying to get that worried look off Shay's face.

"No, I went way too far." Shay said with a definite tone of regret. "And my friend, I think this will be my last day on the job until the baby comes. I'm not doing anyone any favors by staying on." Shay knew she made the right decision when no argument came from her partner.

Now she was worried about her fireman, still in this burning building, not making the quick exit after Capp.

"Severide, where the hell are you and Hadley?" yelled Boden growing impatient with their no show on the ladder.

"Chief, we heard someone calling out. We're checking it out. We must've missed someone!" Kelly was breathing hard and Boden didn't like the urgency in his voice.

"Make it quick, lieutenant!"

"Not planning a slumber party," laughed Kelly with Hadley cracking up in the background.

Kelly and Hadley followed the cries for help and found an older woman hiding under her desk. They coaxed her out and Kelly had to fling her over his shoulder to make quicker time. The intense heat, thick smoke, and weight of the woman was making it hard for Kelly to make good time. He stumbled once and Hadley helped him up.

"You want me to take her?" asked Hadley.

"No you get on that ladder and I'll hand her to you!" Kelly made it to the window and watched Hadley scramble out on the ladder, arms outstretched

Kelly struggled to get her out with Hadley grabbing from the outside. She was unconscious making the work that much harder. Another ambulance had come earlier expecting more casualties, so Dawson and Shay had no problems letting them care for the woman once Hadley made his way down with her.

Shay was watching, terror in her eyes, Dawson's arm around her trying to calm her down. Dawson was worried not just about Kelly. She could literally see her partner's blood pressure rise every second that Kelly wasn't out of there.

"Sit down and take some deep breaths," said Dawson trying to soothe Shay. "He's almost out. He's fine."

As if on cue, Kelly came flying through the window, a big explosion of flame and smoke close behind. He landed hard on the ladder and then lay motionless.

Shay could feel a tightening in her belly and it was getting harder to breathe. Seeing Kelly not moving was sending her over the edge.

Hadley was back up the ladder really flying now. He reached Kelly and didn't like what he found.

"Severide! Severide!" Hadley was trying to roll his lieutenant over but it was nearly impossible on the ladder. Kelly was gaining consciousness, coughing and groaning.

"I'm okay," he mumbled not sure if he meant his words.

Casey had made it up and was surveying the damage. He could see parts of his friend's coat burned through, not a good sign.

"Hey, I'm going to get you down, okay. Try to stay still. I'm going to put you over my shoulder." Casey struggled with Kelly's weight but finally managed. Hadley was doing all he could to help, but it was slow going.

Shay was doubled over with pain while Dawson forced her on a stretcher.

"Get on there now!" Dawson was yelling at her friend, taking vitals and feeling for fetal movement. "Think of the baby!" That helped and Shay calmed down a little. Another ambulance had been called and would be there within two minutes.

"Please, check on Kelly! I'm fine! Go!" Shay was pleading with her friend, screaming. Shay could see Kelly slumped over, Casey talking to him taking off his jacket and peeling away his shirt.

"Severide, where do you hurt?" Dawson asked seeing the burns on his back. "You've got some burns on your back. They look like mostly first degree maybe a few second. How's your breathing?" Dawson could take a breath, relieved it wasn't worse. She handed Kelly an oxygen mask and he perked up.

"I'm okay. Where's Shay?" he couldn't believe she wasn't there. She couldn't still be mad. "Didn't you clear it all up? I kinda figured you'd have to tell her about the house hunting."

"Yeah, it's all good. She feels terrible about it all. She just got a little worked up. God knows, you took long enough to get out of there. I made her lie down for a bit." Dawson was trying to downplay the situation.

Kelly was up before Dawson, Casey or Hadley could stop him, running to where Shay was. The other paramedics were working on Shay and Kelly thought his heart truly stopped when he heard, "They're in distress! Lets get her to County now!"


	10. Chapter 10

**This is the last full chapter, but an epilogue is coming soon. Thanks for the reviews of my first fanfic! It's been fun to write; I hope you've enjoyed reading it. **

**Love Shayveride, but I think the romance will only exist in fanfiction. Lauren German tweeted that Shay is a lesbian, not bi, not confused- kind of a bummer for those of us hoping Kelly and Shay would eventually get together. So come on fellow writers, let me read your stories of where Chicago Fire should head. **

* * *

At the hospital, Kelly was inconsolable. He still had no shirt on, wouldn't let anyone look at his back, just paced and bothered the nurses every five minutes demanding to know what was going on. Finally, a doctor came with news.

"Family of Leslie Shay?" she asked with a smile on her face. Everyone in the waiting room stood up.

"I'm Dr. Allen and I have good news...baby and mama are fine. They are resting, blood pressure is perfect. It was just a bad combination of too much work and stress. She will need to be on bed rest for at least a week." The doctor was glad to be delivering some happy news.

"Can I see her? I need to see her," Kelly was heading toward the waiting room door looking at the doctor to lead the way.

"Yes, she's been asking for Kelly. I assume that's you?" Dr. Allen asked, smile still on her face.

"Yes, now let's go." Kelly was so anxious to see Shay and make sure their baby was alright.

"I'll make you a deal. We are going to treat you first. It will only take a few minutes. Come on," Dr. Allen grabbed Kelly's arm and led him to an ER doctor waiting in a nearby room. Hallie had arranged it all and knew Kelly wouldn't agree if waiting was involved. That would just be more minutes away from the woman he loved.

"Really? Now?" Kelly started to protest.

"Yes, Hallie's orders. Leslie is in agreement too, so let's get this over with." The ER doctor cleaned Kelly's burns and covered them with gauze. "I'm giving you a shot to help prevent infection and also putting in a prescription for antibiotics. I want you to start them tonight."

Kelly nodded his head, jumped off the bed and headed out the door. Dr Allen led the way and Kelly thought he was going to lose it when he saw Shay in a hospital bed looking so small and pale. Her face lit up when she saw him.

"Are you okay?" they both asked.

"Shay, I don't know what I would have done," Kelly began, burying his head on her shoulder.

Shay stroked his head, "I'm okay. The baby's perfect. It's okay, we're okay, sshh." Shay knew Kelly was a wreck.

"Kelly, look at me. How are you? Your back?" Shay was spying the huge pieces of gauze on his back wanting to examine him herself.

"I'm fine, but you, our baby..." Kelly didn't say what they both knew could have happened.

Dr. Allen cut in, "But both mom and baby are good. And I can tell you the sex of the baby if you'd like. I know Leslie said you both want to be surprised, but if you change your minds."

"Thanks Doc, but we are waiting. Right, Shay?" Kelly thought they were having a boy. He just had a sense that there was a little boy growing inside Shay. A boy they had decided to name Andrew Darden Severide.

"Yes, I think so. We've waited this long, let's wait a little more." Shay was so relieved the baby was okay. She felt sure they were having a little girl that would have Kelly wrapped the second she arrived. She could picture a beautiful baby girl that Kelly would adore in his usual overprotective way.

"Kel, you need to rest. I need to sleep. Go home and try to sleep, please." Shay had to give it a try.

"Not just no, but hell no. I'm sleeping right here. Now close your eyes and take care of our baby." Kelly stroked Shay's hair softly. Dr. Allen left the couple seeing that arguing with this man would be fruitless. Kelly continued to rub Shay's head and watched her drift off. He had a restless night, so hard to let the panic leave him.

Shay woke up to find Kelly asleep next to her, hot and sweaty. She felt his head. It was burning up.

"Kelly," she whispered.

"What's wrong?" Kelly was awake in an instant, concern written all over his face.

"No, I'm fine. You are burning up. How do you feel? I'm calling the nurse," Shay was pushing the call button before Kelly's first no.

"I feel good. I think it's just the stress of yesterday. Hey, let me worry about you two." Kelly felt like crap and his back was hurting, but didn't need Shay stressed. He smiled at her and got out of the bed heading to the bathroom.

"I'm going to wash off a little. I'll be right back." Kelly washed his face and looked in the mirror. Yes, he had to agree. He looked like shit. The thought of those antibiotics he was supposed to start last night were not even on the radar.

Hallie was with Shay when he opened the door. Great. Two ganging up on him. Kelly knew he didn't stand a chance.

"Well hello, Hallie. Checking on Shay?" he asked with a grin, hoping that made him look a little less like what he saw in the mirror.

"We are taking a walk my friend," Hallie hooked her arm in his and forced him out of the room. Kelly looked back at Shay as if to say "help" but she just raised her eyebrows and waved.

"Shay needs to relax and be stress free, Kelly. And that is going to be impossible if you are admitted to this hospital. Where are the antibiotics you are supposed to be on?" Hallie had a no nonsense attitude, but Kelly knew it came from a place of concern.

"You are right. The last thing I want is to add any stress on Shay. I am going right now to get those..." Kelly was using that grin again. Hallie had to laugh.

"If you knew how bad you looked right now, you wouldn't even be trying with that smile," Hallie reached in her pocket and pulled out a prescription bottle handing it to Kelly. "Please take two right now while I watch you. Then two a day for fifteen days. I am also looking at your back now." Hallie wasn't laughing anymore and Kelly knew it would be a while before he got back to Shay.

Hallie led him to a room and began her work. She took the gauze off, cleaned the burns, and put new dressings on them.

"You are burning up," Hallie had a frown on her face. "I'm going to get an IV started, get some fluids in you, some more antibiotics also. We have to knock this out right now." She was out of the room before Kelly could say anything.

Hallie came back hands full with an IV stand, all kinds of tubing, a couple of bags, reaching one of her hands out to Kelly. She handed him a couple of rather large pills.

"For your pain. I think our best bet is for you to get on your side, face me, and we'll run the line on your top arm." Hallie quickly got to work. She had everything done within ten minutes.

"We won't mention any of this to Shay, right?" asked Kelly, feeling a little better already.

"Of course not, but if I have to admit you, we'll deal with that then. Kelly, you're in bad shape. You have to take care of yourself starting right now." Hallie knew he wouldn't like this next part. "You are going to be in this room for awhile. I want you to sleep and let these bags do their thing. I will come back for you in four hours."

"Four hours! No way, Shay needs me..." Kelly couldn't imagine being away for that long.

"What she needs is for you to be at one hundred percent! You are going to keep your butt in this bed and close your eyes and try to sleep." Hallie put her arm on her hip, daring Kelly to argue. He was feeling drowsy thinking "What were in those pills" just before falling asleep.

Hallie checked on Shay and was relieved to find her sleeping as well. Mission accomplished, both friends resting and hopefully getting better. Now to face all the people in the waiting room. At least she had good news to deliver.

Kelly and Shay were discharged the next day, both doing much better. Shay was on leave until the baby came and Kelly was given mandatory leave by Chief Boden. He wasn't to return for ten days at the earliest. No arguing from Kelly this time. With Shay on bed rest, he was thinking more like two weeks off. She would not be lifting a finger he decided.

Casey and Dawson knew their lieutenant friend was in no shape to be taking care of someone right now. He needed someone to take care of him or he was going to end up back at the hospital.

"Casey, you got a minute?" Dawson asked when she found him alone in the kitchen.

"Sure, what's up? Shay and Kelly okay?" Casey's thoughts were consumed with his friends' health. He was going to stop by after shift tonight and try to convince Kelly that he was staying at their place for a couple of days.

"Shay said everything is great, but I was wondering if you wanted to set up some shifts with me. We can compare schedules and hopefully have someone over there everyday. Kelly can't be taking care of Shay right now. He needs someone to help him with his back.

"Haha! I was just thinking about stopping by tonight and convincing Kelly to let me spend a couple of nights over there. We are on the same wavelength," Casey didn't even realize he was holding one of Gabby's hands.

Peter Mills did. He was heading in the kitchen to start dinner but stopped short when he saw his girl and Casey deep in conversation. He headed straight for Gabby, putting his arm around her making Casey drop the hand he didn't even know was in his.

"Hey Gabby. Severide and Shay okay? What's going on?" Mills was not an insecure man, but seeing Gabby talk to Casey made him fee like he was in eighth grade competing for the prettiest girl in class.

"They're okay, but they need help and neither one will ever ask. We're trying to work out some shifts to stay at their place." Dawson could see the awkwardness of the situation and wanted out of that kitchen fast.

"Count me in." Mills wasn't about to be outdone by truck's lieutenant. "I'm off Thursday, Friday, and Saturday."

"Really, Pete? That's great," said Dawson giving Mills a kiss on the cheek. "Cindy Hermann has volunteered also. I think we have enough help for a month. Haha!"

"Oh, Severide will love that!" Casey was ready to make his exit. "I'll do the first couple of days, you guys get the rest set up. Gabby, thanks for getting this organized. I guess I'll see you in two days?"

"Thanks, Casey." Dawson gave him a quick hug that made everyone uncomfortable.

Since Shay was on bed rest that meant Kelly was on bed rest also. To say she was restless would be an understatement, so she wanted Kelly to stay by her side. It turned out to be just what Kelly needed. Instead of running around, attending to Shay, he was stuck in bed with her.

Casey took the first couple of days, Dawson was up next for two days, Mills stayed over one, and Cindy Hermann took the last two. Kelly's back was better and Shay didn't have to be on complete bed rest after that week.

"Kelly, I never really had the chance to tell you what a bitch I was when I went completely crazy and actually thought you and Dawson were up to something." Shay was avoiding this conversation, but she knew Kelly deserved an apology and so much more than that.

"No words needed. Yes, you were a bitch, but it seems insignificant now," Kelly rubbed Shay's stomach just so happy they were okay. "I don't care about any of that,"

"But I care about it. I hurt you. I know I did. No one really warned me to stay away from you. Everyone at the station has been great and you know they all respect and love you. Boden was just being Boden." Shay looked at Kelly trying to read his thoughts but he had a poker face. "Say something."

A long pause. "I know I don't have the best reputation. I know I've been with many women. Too many women. You know why. After Renee cheated on me and I broke off our engagement, I wanted nothing to do with a real relationship. I guess you hit a nerve because I know deep down I'm not really good enough for you. And my biggest fear is that someday you'll figure that out." Kelly was just looking at Shay's belly, still caressing it, not looking at her face.

"That is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have been one of the few good things in my life for a long time, and I'm just glad I finally realized it. Kelly, you and I are forever. Will you get that through your skull? Am I making myself clear?" Shay touched Kelly's chin and forced him to look at her.

She repeated her question,"Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, crystal clear." Kelly meant it. For the first time he really felt that he might just possibly deserve all this, that he deserved some good in his life. It was a relief, kind of like lifting a fog that was surrounding him. He felt energized.

"I was going to surprise you, but maybe I should come clean. I'm looking at a house tomorrow with Dawson. I'll send you pictures and if you think it's perfect I'll put in an offer. Sound good?" Kelly was excited and Shay knew her words hit home.

"We don't have to get a new place. Wherever we are will be perfect," Shay began.

"But I want to do this. It feels right. Don't you think?" Kelly asked.

Shay had to admit that it did sound right. It sounded like a first step to their forever. She didn't know that Kelly had another task for Dawson tomorrow. That he would leave as a surprise.

Shay was alone for the first time in a week, and it was driving her a little more crazy than normal. When Kelly came home, she almost jumped on him.

"Any exciting news?" she asked anxiously.

Kelly had his hands full with a casserole dish, Dawson following close behind with a pot of something that smelled beyond wonderful.

"Nah, Gabby just made all this food because the house hunting was a failure... Hell yeah, I have exciting news!" Kelly put the dish on the counter and reached for his phone. "Look at this!"

He showed her pictures of their new home. Shay thought it was perfect, beautiful, meant for them. Best of all, it had a decent sized backyard. She could imagine barbecues, swing sets, a bunch of kids running around.

Tears welled up in her eyes, "It is perfect." Shay pulled her fireman in tight vowing to never let go.

"My cue to leave," laughed Dawson wishing she could see part two of the evening, but she was sure she would hear all about it tomorrow.

Kelly walked her out. "Gabby, I can't thank you enough. You've done more for me over the past couple of months. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you. Casey and you are more than friends, I want you to know that." It was more than Kelly was comfortable saying and Dawson knew this, that's what made it mean so much.

"Is Shay the pregnant one or are you?" joked Dawson. "If you get sentimental on me, you'll never live it down. Seriously though, it was fun and anything you two need, I'm there. You are family." They quickly hugged and Kelly watched her leave wishing Casey would get off his ass and tell her how he feels. If she chose Mills, then she chose Mills. But this dancing around their obvious attraction was ridiculous. It was definitely a conversation Kelly would take up with his friend and soon.

Kelly set the table, lit a few candles, and got the food ready. Dawson said it was chile rellenos with Spanish rice, her grandmother's recipe, and flan for dessert. All Kelly knew was that it smelled delicious. Shay was waiting impatiently on the couch.

"Celebration dinner ready!" he said with that devilish grin on his face.

"It smells so good! I hope I can leave some for you," laughed Shay ready to attack that food then maybe her man afterwards.

They sat down at the table. "Very impressive, lieutenant," Shay teased as she immediately dug in.

Kelly was sweating, was it getting hot in there or maybe it was the chile rellenos, he thought.

"Hey, are you okay? You look hot. Are you sick?" Shay was up touching Kelly's forehead. He grabbed both her hands and looked at her amazed as always with her beauty. No makeup, in sweats, fully pregnant, and he knew she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He took a deep breath.

"I'm fine. I'm more than fine," he began. "Shay, the best day of my life was the day I met you. Hell, I knew I was in love with you from the start. The second best day was when you realized you loved me." Kelly got on one knee and tried to get a small box out of his pocket. The second thing he needed Dawson for today - picking out the perfect ring.

"Are you okay? What are you doing?" Shay was trying to help him up.

"Shay, you said we are forever - you and me forever. I'm trying to ask you to marry me if you'll stop yanking on my arm. Leslie Shay, will you marry me?" Kelly was laughing through tears waiting for Shay's response, holding out the ring for her to see.

Shay had no words. This was the last thing she expected. She was frozen.

"Shay, I'm asking you to spend forever with me. Will you marry me?" Kelly was getting more nervous, the dumbfounded look on Shay's face was hard to read.

She took Kelly's face in her hands and knelt down in front of him kissing him, never wanting to forget this moment.

"Yes," she whispered knowing those chile rellenos would have to wait. "Yes!" she repeated kissing him all over his face now, laughing.

Kelly's eyes softened, he could relax a little and stop sweating. They were getting married.

He was so lost in the moment he didn't hear Shay say that she thought her water broke. He didn't feel the wetness around his knees. It would take Shay repeating herself for Kelly to realize what was happening.

Shay had a scared look in her eyes. That's all it took. Kelly seemed to wake up and the lieutenant in him took over.

"Let's go have this baby, Baby!"


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue done! First fanfic finished. Thank you again for the reviews and seeing me through the story. Hope you've enjoyed this journey with Shay and Severide. **

* * *

Shay had been right, as usual. A gorgeous baby girl arrived the night of Kelly's proposal. A beautiful baby girl they would name Isabelle Shay Severide in honor of the baby that had affected Kelly so much, in honor of the baby that would never see all the birthdays that this Isabelle would.

Shay was laying in a hammock, watching Isabelle parade around their backyard thrilled with her 5th birthday party decorations. She had wanted a fireman theme, and Kelly was more than happy with his little mini-me's choice.

Shay laughed as she watched Kelly watching Isabelle, obvious pride in his eyes. Kelly caught her glance and just shook his head knowing he was done for.

Their second baby came three years after Isabelle. Kelly was again convinced it was a boy. They had decided on the name Andrew Darden Severide.

Kelly was again wrong, but they stuck with a name to honor Kelly's fallen friend - Andi Gabriella Severide made her appearance on a lazy, hot summer evening with none of the drama that brought her older sister into the world. She was a little replica of Leslie Shay, all goofiness and beauty rolled into one.

Shay watched as Isabelle pushed her little sister down when Andi grabbed one of the cupcakes that were for later. She watched as Kelly halfheartedly reprimanded Isabelle for pushing her baby sister down and she watched as Kelly picked up Andi wiping her tears with his hand. She watched as he kissed Andi's neck a hundred times until she was laughing so hard she could barely breath. Shay watched as Isabelle pulled on Kelly's shorts, jealous for attention, so he lifted her up with his other arm - one daughter in each arm.

Gabby took Isabelle from Kelly spinning her around and around, swaying to the music that Otis had playing from some makeshift sound system he hooked up. Casey grabbed Andi and joined Gabby on their pretend dance floor.

Kelly made his escape and jumped in the hammock with Shay. "Is this not the best party ever?" Kelly asked looking at all their friends gathered in honor of their little girl's birthday. He laughed, spying his dad trying to work a new camera.

Benny was a great grandfather. He was made for that role. He stayed just long enough to spoil the girls rotten and then left on some trip to let Shay and Kelly deal with the monsters he was creating. The girls loved their "Pop" and he adored them.

Gabby and Casey were officially "together." They had taken a huge step and actually moved in with each other. Mills and Gabby had a good run, but when Mills devoted himself fully to squad, Gabby didn't like her role as second to his job. Through a lot of tears, they decided they would be better as friends. Kelly was constantly on Casey to put a ring on it.

Boden was retired and Kelly was complaining daily about "the pain in the ass" new chief. Matt Casey was taking his role very seriously and Kelly took every opportunity to give his new chief hell. The department had asked Kelly to apply for the position as well, but he had not so graciously declined saying that the day he sat on his butt all day barking orders was the day to just bury him. Squad was his job for life.

Mouch was retired but came over at least once a week to drink coffee with Shay and read his paper. Hermann and Cruz were still at it although Cruz had decided to go for squad. Kelly thought he was the perfect addition. They were all enjoying this Severide function amazed at what a family man squad's lieutenant turned into.

"Look at Isabelle flirt with Matt. We are going to have our hands full." Kelly was watching his girls, a huge smile across his face.

"She IS her father's daughter, and we already have our hands full," said Shay truly happy with the scene before her.

Kelly stroked Shay's stomach, and said simply, "I can't wait." He knew Shay was worried, but he couldn't be more thrilled with this unexpected event.

"You don't think we are crazy?" asked Shay needing reassurance.

"I know we ARE crazy, but this, this is awesome." Kelly's enthusiasm was just what Shay needed.

"I am pushing forty," began Shay.

"But you look thirty," said Kelly. "I love you," he added just as Isabelle came over trying to get on the hammock, dumping Kelly and Shay onto the grass. Casey brought Andi over putting her on Kelly's chest. Benny was capturing the whole thing on his new camera that he finally figured out.

"Hey, I said I love you. Everything is going to be fine, more than fine. It's going to be great. And did I tell you I had a dream the other night and this time I think we're having a boy." Kelly laughed knowing he would forever be surrounded by women. Hell, the dog was even female.

No one was more shocked than Kelly when his prediction came true. Darden Benjamin Severide was born six months after Isabelle's party. Kelly knew his family was complete and he was complete. He remembered Shay's words about them being "forever."

Everything was clear to him now. This was what life was all about - Shay, Isabelle, Andi, and Darden. Not squad, not being the hero, but savoring the moments with his family. Nothing could be clearer to this man who had fought his demons, struggled for years, and been to hell and back. Yes, it was clear now. Crystal clear.


End file.
